RAGE

When people say you should always be nice

I think this is easily taken for granted. No one needs to be nice. It's a privilege, not a right.

In work for example... I'm nice to strangers for the entire duration of my shift
There are people I have known for years who I am barely ever nice to. That doesn't seem fair except briefly, for the fact that I am being paid to be nice. I don't think I'm being paid enough for that privilege. I sell my niceness too cheaply. I don't have to be nice. Fuck that

...and myself. I'm awful to myself.

When someone says "you should always be nice to people, to strangers" it now, at this moment, makes me want to punch the offender in the face.

Be the person you'd like to meet. Bullshit. You don't "choose" who you want to meet. You just meet people. you don't get a choice

Be nice.

No I should not. And neither should you. It's a choice, when I'm feeling like it. I don't "have" to be nice if I don't want to be.

Yes, I am arguing with myself. I know this. I am aware of it, so that makes me happy.

Anyway.

I asked a girl out a long time ago, and I could never let go of the fact that she confided in an associate, that I was "too nice" and "not her type"

or some bullnut like that

what I guess annoys me about that is the fact that I CHOSE to be nice to HER PARTICULARLY and this was seen as a BAD thing.

Moral of that story? I could have been an absolute cockbag and it wouldn't have made a difference except how I felt about myself.

Now, that example should not be taken in isolation for the point I'm trying to make which is just that, if you choose to be unpleasant or just ARE as a RESULT of how you feel because of whatever is going on in your life, don't be bound to a false ideal of how you OUGHT to be rather than how you actually feel. No price tag is high enough and no outside opinion large enough to merit a change that significant.

Fuck everyone else and their ideal of how YOU should be. If they don't like it, it's their problem.

and if you walk into a store and the cashier smiles to you and is outwardly chatty?

APPRECIATE it.

It's a privilege, not a right. Sometimes the customer can be an asshole too

an asshole who, has possibly had experiences just like the cashier. Another human being

Over The Edge