That is to say, I have personally become a judge on morality, principle and responsibility due to the loud voice that screams from within me.
There are times when I find I just explode with anxiety... not the kind that you take tablets for, mind you, but the kind that makes it so that my mouth gets me into all manner of precarious discussions. When you talk to someone about their own personal values, it's like stepping into a veritable minefield. You are in unfamiliar land, blindfolded, looking for a foot pump. For many, it is easier to leave it be, to allow those with questionable morality to flout the values of others... emotional bullies.
That being said, I am a lover, not a fighter. The only thing that stands between love and me however, is this loud voice. Now I'm not talking about a schizophrenic voice that tells me I'm shit. Quite the opposite, actually. Just that niggling feeling that something needs to be said. Sometimes it occurs to me immediately, sometimes it doesn't and I meditate on it a while. In any event, it looks like I am a product of doing what I consider to be the right thing.
It would be easy in some circumstances, just to shut up and move on. Sometimes it would be easier to be tolerant of a situation or group of people which were different to that which I prefer. But long gone are the teenage years, the doubtful period when you just do not know what it is you want. Through trial and error, you learn what makes you comfortable and what makes you jittery. Some people never tire of certain routines or behaviours and others falter and resist like two similar magnetic polarities being pushed together. It's all right to clash, so long as you respect the barrier which cannot be crossed. This no-man's land is the minefield. Many brave men and women have tried to cross it and ended up seriously injured in their pursuits.
So it is known at some stage in your life that there are places you just will not cross into, for fear of being blown to smithereens. There is the right way of doing things and there is the easy way. The easy way, may just be your tolerance of a situation. You may be lucky to build up an immunity or rather a apathy to certain things. For others, it becomes a struggle of right vs wrong. They may find themselves in a situation with particular properties. They may repeat it again and again and find it doesn't work for them. they may also notice that it similarly doesn't work for others, by learning to gauge their own sensitivity. then this recurring situation may become so ridiculous that they feel the need to point out what is "wrong" with it according to them. This is me. I am however, open to correction, but I find in the majority of situations I am seldom off by much. I guess my resistance to how I feel is low. I just have to go with gut instinct at this stage. Some things that seem normal enough just seem ludicrous to me at times. But enough on that, this place is full of such musings.
So it would seem to me that many people just "tolerate" some situations because it's easier than making any definite decision. The mind boggles at this. It's easier not to decide what is right for you. OK, so when human emotion is invited into the sequence, you find that you're full of empathy... you have known someone that suffered under their similar decision before. You don't want to feel that way because it looked bad, so you resolve to never make any decision that will affect you the same way. I was like this once... thought you could cruise through life so long as you were patient and tolerant of things, even that which was the polar opposite of my own values.I didn't want to suffer pain, therefore created something one hundred fold because I neglected to make a decision. Maybe it's just older people who refrain from this maddening behaviour... but then why all the gossip columns and agony aunts??
It seems to me that some people are genuinely surprised when things don't fit their "grand scheme", when they get jilted by lovers or when they realise their work is not rewarding. There are very few people who make the right decision rather than the easy one. It's easy to be neglectful, ignorant and even falsely tolerant to a degree, but it is far harder to say what you feel is right because you may or may not face ridicule as a result. remember, "Ridicule is nothing to be scared of". Fear is the reason people don't make the right decisions... and remember, right isn't a collective value, it's personal. Yeah, there are a few nutjobs out there who did what they thought was "right" by slaughtering a few million of their own people, but not everyone is crazy. OK, it seems to me that the majority of people don't think slaughtering one person is right, let alone a few million so we can safely scratch that off the "right" list. However, I would call on everyone to question their own values while supporting governments who send people in to do their killing for them. Is it right to kill all these people? Is it easy? Hmmm. easier when you're not doing it yourself it seems.
Bottom line here is this; The easiest thing to do isn't always right and the right thing to do isn't always easy.
In general, going with the flow is probably the best bet. From one sentient human being to another, I would suggest that you spent more time listening to what you want rather than the collective ideas of what you think you should want. The second you start to reason something is the exact moment you start to doubt it. Reason is a gift of the mind and the mind is every human being's "risk calculator". We use it to solve problems, not to calculate how long we can tolerate them. Toleration is the heart's weakness and reason is the mind's strength. So by and large, they are not compatible. Think of how many times you've been heart broken and how many times you tried to reason staying put and you'll know what I mean.
Making decisions isn't always easy and reasoning decisions isn't always the best choice. Remember, you don't have to justify why you feel you should do something. The only way to justify an bad deed is to get as many people on board as possible.
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