Monday, August 13, 2012

Arbitrary Observation

Most people I know are complete arseholes.

I mean it, 90% of people are complete arseholes and I say that unreservedly, hand on my heart.

OK, so there are some notable exceptions; my parents, parents of friends and young kids... too young to know they are being annoying. Young kids can be arseholes too when they become aware that crying and being cantankerous gets them what they want, or when they start to form groups and partake in bullying or roadside sarcasm when you simply want to pass by them or something. But then again, they don't know enough to know they know nothing...

But I digress.

I'm just simply pointing out that everyone I know has a streak that makes them an arsehole.

Wait a  minute... Streak?... arsehole...?


OK, last time I digress, I promise

Anyway, the point that I'm trying to needle out here is that I grew up, trying my best to keep my good side out. It was a battle and a half which I finally realised I was losing when I continually observed others around me being arseholes and enjoying themselves, often to great reward while I was suffering with occasional happiness not relative to the immense niceties I was allowing even perfect strangers. When I did something that I could merit from, I was reprimanded for doing it by people who were looking out for my best interests, apparently.  I was told this world does not serve nice people only those who can display occasional cynicism, pedantry and being condescending and generally stepping all over their peers to come first.

OK, not always, but those people do exist

Life is not fair you see. And now that I look around with new eyes (not literally) I see it's rife everywhere.

Granted; I exaggerate on the sheer amount of arsehole-ness there is around, but that is my arsehole-ness coming through you see. It's quite enjoyable when you get used to it. I like to whittle what i observe down to raw explanation. I play devils advocate on issues even if I agree with them. My malevolence shines through in taking things apart. Stable things. Talk crap even if you don't really mean it. It's a normal thing to do.

We're Human


See, it's OK to be a little malevolent every now and then if it serves the greater good... that being your own self-interested, greater good. That's right, in this life YOU are number one. See that person over there who thinks they are right all the time? Arsehole. See that condescending guy in the corner? Arsehole. See that fella writing blogs about anything he can sit in bed on a Monday night and muster up on the fly? Arsehole. That's right... the world is full of them. You, me we're both arseholes because that is a perfectly normal thing to do.

Normal thing to do.

Sounds nicer every time, doesn't it?

I have stories about friends and family, neighbours and colleagues and the arsehole things they did on occasion and in my small town where I grew up. Because it was a normal thing to do.


It was only normal to gossip about those that did wrong because we suffered small town syndrome. Nothing to do but hang out and talk shit about people we knew. It was a horrible idea to step out of line in case someone talked about you for stepping out of line. you had to be a moaning backward dickball to pull through because everyone was doing it.

Fuck that. I love people acting like an arsehole and being imperfect plainly because it's natural; everyone does it and it's our right to do it. We fuck up, throw up, fight, leer, shout, fall over, have punch ups then make up... Hell, that is how we have fun! I didn't understand this was completely acceptable, like a hidden super power until I could get away long enough to see from the outside. I realise I was trying too damn hard to be nice and it's changing how I have seen certain people. Even those I once had issue with, all those years ago. Nowadays, I forgive every wrong I have felt others have done to me. Every damn one, because it was their right to fuck up and moreso, because I don't want that baggage, that gossip... I do not need that shit and neither do you. Plus I reserve the right to fuck up too. Besides, Who needs someone flapping their apparently "perfect" lips aboout how much of a shit you are?

 Now I just have to get round to forgiving myself for what I have done in the past to people because... I am an arsehole too.

It's a normal thing to do you see.

I've always thought being nice and perfect would reap rewards, but it only gets you trampled on by those who would keep down there, as low as you felt. Nobody gives a shit about you, you have to do that yourself!

Matt by name, matt by nature it seems. No more.

Of course, your parents and siblings and the older and much younger generation... you gotta watch out for them.

It's the normal thing to do, you see.

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