The internet is growing.
Wow, what a dumb statement. I mean it's obvious, right?
It's like saying "space is expanding". It's a given. As I speak, there are hundreds of sites and services being added, making the total useful output of the web reach unimaginable proportions. Though the majority of the internet is porn, there are some other (useful) things available via the World Wide Web. If I said I didn't partake of the occasional bit of porn I'd be a liar... it has it's uses. Ebay has it's uses, supposing I wanted to find a rare item I had to have for whatever reason. So I definitely make use of this particular option when it's necessary. I could honestly go on about what I use intermittently, over time, on the interwebz, but I' going to give you the benefit of doubt by assuming you're intelligent and assume that you get where I'm going with this observation.
There are staple things we require as human beings, however. There are things like food and drink, which we must use to survive in general. There are basic relationships like family and work, things we may or may not want depending on our moods. It is said that friends are the family of the 21st century, if we are to believe what Simon Pegg quipped in "Spaced". It's true... friends are people we choose to be around rather than feel obliged to spend time with. We choose their company based on traits that we decide suit our specifications... I dunno. We just take a "shine" to certain individuals for whatever reason there is to like someone. We even choose to dine or get smashed with said individuals. Isn't it great?
Now, assuming that we have friendships on this also-assumed little prerequisite, why is it necessary to "like" what someone says if you are friends with 'em anyway? Even if a friend says something I don't like, I appreciate it anyway. It's what makes friends friends, and what makes old friends, "gone-friends". See it's a case of, "this doesn't suit me any more so I'm moving on". You ultimately decide whether to stick by your friends or not. They choose whether to stick by you or not also. If a friend is not a real friend, they won't. That is it. If they have disappeared for years and suddenly resurfaced, it's probably for a good reason, like being lost in the Everglades for 20 years or been a political prisoner or something. Anything else is not really a good reason to just disappear unless it's on a moral or personal ground. It's like when you have a racist friend and you think "OK, you are making racist jokes that I personally am not offended by, but seeing as I don't agree with you or your narrow single-minded viewpoint, I am further on going to disassociate myself from you". And you move on. You haul ass out and find new friends, friends that are more like you are. If said racist friend wanted your "likes" or support on something, they'd want to generally not piss you off, wouldn't they? Now it's also likely that your situation or circumstances will just propel you in a different direction than your real friends. You may be countries apart, decided by work or love or maybe that friend just got a pain in their hole with the whole routine of their life. Either way, it's a given that you will make the effort to stay in contact, regardless of distance. If you are concerned that friends will not stand by the decisions you make on a personal basis, you should ask yourself just one thing... "if they cannot take me at my worst, do they deserve my best?"
And so I now move on to social networking, as I see it anyway. I was like, 16 or something when mobile phones came into the picture. Back then we couldn't believe there was a better way to stay in contact that was more practical than freezing your ass off, waiting on a wall. At least you could narrow down the waiting time on those freezing blocks before you set out. No more unnecessary minutes spent waiting in the rain and wind for your mates to show up. It was a great idea. I mean, just to clarify a point, find something out or make an arrangement, we had text and voice. It really is brilliant. I seen the hard-liners who refused to acknowledge the benefits of mobile phones fall throughout the years and accept that they were indeed practical. Now most everyone has a phone and some go further and have one that can put jam on your toast and iron your trousers. It really is fantastic.
The social networking thing though is just the opposite. Instead of housework we find ourselves clicking on refresh in case someone has posted a mundane thing like "just read my phone bill there" or "Larry fell on his face last night" something terrible and irrelevant anyway. You see what your friends and the people you don't give a shit about in equal measure got up to on a news feed every 10 minutes. It is killing the need for meeting up, chatting and the thought that occurs to you in no set time increments like "haven't heard from Paul in about four months, must ring or text and organise a meet-up". You don't give a shit - because you know Paul has bought a kennel and a Wispa in the last 24 hours and you aren't arsed to see anyone that you have to leave your desktop for. Social networking is Anti-social. I'll bet the people who dreamed them up don't even use them.
Some use the social network platform to be pedantic or paranoid. Some use it to make a point that they cannot or would not do in person... plenty of implying going on. You get people who write their news out... and the first post is someone correcting their spelling. You get people jumping into conversations they are not part of and implying that you are talking about something they chose to get offended by. Imagine sitting in a pub having a private conversation only to have some lout butt in and make trouble on pure assumption? Total bullshit. Yet I even find myself F5ing a page about three times before logging out. It is as addictive as scratching your balls... you know you shouldn't do it, but a few on the sly and everything's good.
Social networking used to have it's uses, back in the days of Myspace and Bebo... do you remember them?? Yeah, Myspace was for music mostly and Bebo was for... kids. You know, you could put up pictures and people could go "aww, that's kinda nice even though I'm not actually interested". Much the same as all those folks now talking about what they are studying or that their essay is due and how you still, realistically, don't give a shit. It's like that wedding coming up that you don't care about, those photos uploaded that you're not interested in and how loads of people are going to Lanzarote and you're not so you generally ignore all news feeds that have Lanzarote in for a week or so. Yep, it's making us care about what we don't... care about. It's not benefiting at all. Social networking doesn't promote friendships, it promotes procrastination... like that wasn't a big enough problem already.
Social networking is making me look bad as a person. Generally, I have no problem with anyone. Everybody likes to have their space, appreciates the space between one meet-up and the next. God forbid you should join a group like "Atheists Ireland" and then leave a week later. You have an annoying friend for life that won't leave you alone. See what I did there?
But seriously, social networking makes people look bad. It makes us look boring, conceited, brash, pedantic, obsessive and critical. And on the base of it all; lazy. It is proving that we are all avoiding real interaction. "Ah I won't meet such-and-such because I know what they are up to and can see them here any time"
What a pile of wank.
If the majority of your friends are on your social networking page, I have some bad news for you.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Napalm Brain, Scatter Brain
By now you will have noticed that I like to talk at length about the fine line between certain opposites, as it were.
Actually it's so fine it's ridiculous.
You are aware that there is a fine line between insanity and genius.
You are also aware that 99% of the time, an attacker is somebody who the victim knew.
And then you are also aware that 70% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Anyway, I just thought I'd point out another two things that came to mind recently.
Media Snake:
I always talk about the media. It's one of my favourite things to do. Today I want to say that in my personal opinion, using my own crafted stats, that the media has so far, to date, only output 10% useful information since I can remember and 90% of the time, they are inciting, hateful, biased (in spite of apparently being known as a neutral source of information) Popular journalism always seeks to scapegoat some poor fecker who was getting off on something random or else band-wagon jumping, in order to make the sales. Popular journalists are scum. A real journalist would never get hired by a popular edition purely because only a select few would actually find what they wrote about to be interesting at all. Most people don't care that footballers sleep around, for example. No one cares about tabloids really. Some of us care about the state of the world economy, but don't need to be reminded every day about the slight changes going on. And why do they constantly try to remind us that someone in Botswana got impaled while riding a motorcycle to a funeral? Generally, humans are a depressing bunch. Just like our need for companionship makes a pretty penny on "Valentines Day", our insecurity and general critical nature assures the sale of the daily rag. So, if I haven't read a paper, cover to cover since 2008, how come I know that the world bank is in tatters, ACTA is moving through the court system, people in Ireland are getting raped by the Irish government and that generally, people are getting fucked over one way or another all over the world? It doesn't take a genius to figure out that there is one thing in control here... human nature and the manipulation of it. Get a life of your own rather than join in the punishment beating of another's. Stop buying the rag and promoting the use of mind numbing tabloid "knowledge" and sensationalism.
The truth is, you may die of unnatural causes or you may not.. it's a big bad world full of mad people. We all know one, I'm sure.
You may get caught doing what you like to do, or you may not. Just give up stalking others and justifying it as "normal", eh?
Brain/Computer/Space
Three things that fascinate me and I have been obsessing over for as long as I can remember are the human brain or mind, Space and the technical wonder that are computers. I find, once there is enough interest in any of the above and once your mind is open enough, the line between each obscures less and you start to see the similarities between each.
The similarities are amazing. The human mind is unbelievably expansive. Apparently, there is no end of knowledge we can store in our brains and we are able to recall information easily, the more dormant our temperament. It's well documented that the human psyche can be manipulated easily in a deep sleep or "hypnotised" state. Basically, the busier we ain't, the more easily our mind recalls things it once learned or knows to be true. Why can we quit smoking? We know we need to, somewhere deep inside. Ever struggled with that song name or actor and you try try try, but cannot recall? Then, suddenly, you're watching TV or having a bath or having a wank or whatever, you suddenly remember. Fascinating stuff. Computers work better the less physical memory you are using. It's fair to say your general processing will run a lot quicker when you're not over-encumbered with thoughts or commitments.
And so on.
Space is as expansive as our minds allow it to be. OK, bit of a controversial statement, depending on your scientific disposition or knowledge. The truth is, we only know as much as we have discovered and once we know of it, well there it is. We can always find out more by exploring a little bit, just by watching, observing. Maybe one of our satellites will drift off a little further and detect something we didn't previously know. Our thoughts can drift through our mind and uncover an idea we never fathomed before just the same. The idea becomes a project and the project becomes knowledge soon after a little theory. Both the study of Space and the human mind is all theory based. Nobody knows, but a little prodding around soon uncovers information. It's probability based... one can not know the minds of another, nor themselves truly, just as one cannot know the distant reaches of space. It looks only as our earthly perceptions will allow us to deal with.
This is of course, theory too. But you get my drift.
Computers are as fascinating as both of these subjects. Computers just seem to "develop" over time, though not without the work behind it of course. Technology expands as fast as the mind, as fast as the knowledge we gain to give them momentum. Our brain can be comparable to the mother board of a PC... we have the direct memory access to the situations that need our attention most. Our attention sub-divides and deals with scattered tasks like that of our RAM, like as if the more we learned to deal with, the better our minds could cope. Our brains are much like a hard disc, expanded by our determination to remember the times of our lives we cherished most in great detail. Our processors help us to deal with major turning points or pivotal moments, times when we need to think on our feet or move with great haste. We can quit processes and situations with simple commands or "keystrokes". Our chipsets are only as useful as the user that's manipulating it, the hardware that depends on it and the "speed" or intelligence of the individual who it's assigned to. It seems the more we need to know or understand ourselves, the more our machines need to expand and support us. We are a fortunate bunch indeed. Rather than simply "forget", we can store our knowledge on our body's natural outer appendage. Our computer.
Anyway, this was just one thought process of many. Ironically, I have used the technology in front of me to store one tiny tree of thought development that maybe took me a few seconds to picture. My hands cannot move as fast as my mind. My mind will not move faster than I allow it to.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
Actually it's so fine it's ridiculous.
You are aware that there is a fine line between insanity and genius.
You are also aware that 99% of the time, an attacker is somebody who the victim knew.
And then you are also aware that 70% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
Anyway, I just thought I'd point out another two things that came to mind recently.
Media Snake:
I always talk about the media. It's one of my favourite things to do. Today I want to say that in my personal opinion, using my own crafted stats, that the media has so far, to date, only output 10% useful information since I can remember and 90% of the time, they are inciting, hateful, biased (in spite of apparently being known as a neutral source of information) Popular journalism always seeks to scapegoat some poor fecker who was getting off on something random or else band-wagon jumping, in order to make the sales. Popular journalists are scum. A real journalist would never get hired by a popular edition purely because only a select few would actually find what they wrote about to be interesting at all. Most people don't care that footballers sleep around, for example. No one cares about tabloids really. Some of us care about the state of the world economy, but don't need to be reminded every day about the slight changes going on. And why do they constantly try to remind us that someone in Botswana got impaled while riding a motorcycle to a funeral? Generally, humans are a depressing bunch. Just like our need for companionship makes a pretty penny on "Valentines Day", our insecurity and general critical nature assures the sale of the daily rag. So, if I haven't read a paper, cover to cover since 2008, how come I know that the world bank is in tatters, ACTA is moving through the court system, people in Ireland are getting raped by the Irish government and that generally, people are getting fucked over one way or another all over the world? It doesn't take a genius to figure out that there is one thing in control here... human nature and the manipulation of it. Get a life of your own rather than join in the punishment beating of another's. Stop buying the rag and promoting the use of mind numbing tabloid "knowledge" and sensationalism.
The truth is, you may die of unnatural causes or you may not.. it's a big bad world full of mad people. We all know one, I'm sure.
You may get caught doing what you like to do, or you may not. Just give up stalking others and justifying it as "normal", eh?
Brain/Computer/Space
Three things that fascinate me and I have been obsessing over for as long as I can remember are the human brain or mind, Space and the technical wonder that are computers. I find, once there is enough interest in any of the above and once your mind is open enough, the line between each obscures less and you start to see the similarities between each.
The similarities are amazing. The human mind is unbelievably expansive. Apparently, there is no end of knowledge we can store in our brains and we are able to recall information easily, the more dormant our temperament. It's well documented that the human psyche can be manipulated easily in a deep sleep or "hypnotised" state. Basically, the busier we ain't, the more easily our mind recalls things it once learned or knows to be true. Why can we quit smoking? We know we need to, somewhere deep inside. Ever struggled with that song name or actor and you try try try, but cannot recall? Then, suddenly, you're watching TV or having a bath or having a wank or whatever, you suddenly remember. Fascinating stuff. Computers work better the less physical memory you are using. It's fair to say your general processing will run a lot quicker when you're not over-encumbered with thoughts or commitments.
And so on.
Space is as expansive as our minds allow it to be. OK, bit of a controversial statement, depending on your scientific disposition or knowledge. The truth is, we only know as much as we have discovered and once we know of it, well there it is. We can always find out more by exploring a little bit, just by watching, observing. Maybe one of our satellites will drift off a little further and detect something we didn't previously know. Our thoughts can drift through our mind and uncover an idea we never fathomed before just the same. The idea becomes a project and the project becomes knowledge soon after a little theory. Both the study of Space and the human mind is all theory based. Nobody knows, but a little prodding around soon uncovers information. It's probability based... one can not know the minds of another, nor themselves truly, just as one cannot know the distant reaches of space. It looks only as our earthly perceptions will allow us to deal with.
This is of course, theory too. But you get my drift.
Computers are as fascinating as both of these subjects. Computers just seem to "develop" over time, though not without the work behind it of course. Technology expands as fast as the mind, as fast as the knowledge we gain to give them momentum. Our brain can be comparable to the mother board of a PC... we have the direct memory access to the situations that need our attention most. Our attention sub-divides and deals with scattered tasks like that of our RAM, like as if the more we learned to deal with, the better our minds could cope. Our brains are much like a hard disc, expanded by our determination to remember the times of our lives we cherished most in great detail. Our processors help us to deal with major turning points or pivotal moments, times when we need to think on our feet or move with great haste. We can quit processes and situations with simple commands or "keystrokes". Our chipsets are only as useful as the user that's manipulating it, the hardware that depends on it and the "speed" or intelligence of the individual who it's assigned to. It seems the more we need to know or understand ourselves, the more our machines need to expand and support us. We are a fortunate bunch indeed. Rather than simply "forget", we can store our knowledge on our body's natural outer appendage. Our computer.
Anyway, this was just one thought process of many. Ironically, I have used the technology in front of me to store one tiny tree of thought development that maybe took me a few seconds to picture. My hands cannot move as fast as my mind. My mind will not move faster than I allow it to.
Makes you think, doesn't it?
There Is Nothing To Write About
One of the reasons I haven't written anything in the last while is that I have been quite content.
Another is that sometimes I feel differently about something just as soon as I write it, then I retract it, because it no longer needs clarification.
I did, after all, start this blog to soothe my own need to express myself. It's not like I have communication issues; on the contrary, I love to talk about everything and often too. But one of the main reasons I started it was because I've noticed I am cursed... and it's a rare thing, apparently. In fact, I'm often stricken quite hard when I realise that the majority of others avoid what I consider to be quite normal.
Direct problem solving and straight-forward honesty.
Yeah, I know...
But seriously, in a non-Holden Caulfield way, have you ever noticed how fake some people can be when it comes to sorting out their lives? Have you ever noticed some folks avoiding issues, avoiding to acknowledge problems or just generally being dogmatic or prejudiced? It's absolutely astounding the level of blind-sided ignorance one has to allow oneself in order to slate others or one-up them.
It's a rare thing these days to find a group who commend one-another rather than bitch or judge when one leaves the room.
I'm talking about a simple process - acknowledging ones own faults for a change. Why do people assemble in groups to slate a person or criticise? It's funny but true; Because no-one person in the whole world is perfect and a group has far less wrong with them statistically than one person does alone. Yep, we bond and bitch because we're stronger that way. Then we go home, cram food in our gut, watch musicals, listen to terrible music and actually admit liking shit TV when we're safely by ourselves, to ourselves. Because the combined power of the the group is too much for our own little faults. We hate things in groups because it makes us better than the one girl who wore what she wanted for a change because she thought it looks good or the guy who openly talks about being a massive geek in public. We are so fucking strong in groups because our shit friends and colleagues are there to back us up.
My opinion; If you need to badmouth someone in front of another to make yourself seem better than they are, you are two times worse than your "diagnosis" of that person.
I have said previously that I have not written anything in the last while because I have generally been contented with myself. I am that. Just happy. There is no need to rant when the world is good. I find when I do, it's usually the same subject matter... it's one problem, seemingly different to the last one, solved the same way. That's the way most of problems are when you think about it, inflated by the fear we put into them. You take away the fear and put in rational thought and the problem shrinks into obscurity... and in the grand scheme it's just temporary, relative and irrelevant. Honestly, gossip, office banter, competitiveness and bitching usually stem from a few simple things: Jealousy, insecurity, fear of oneself or ignorance of simple issues that could be solved with a moment's honesty. We are quick to point the finger on other's when something "controversial" happens, but we have the fear of God in us when we're nearly judged by our peers for something similar. It's not their fault for judging you... you are to blame for participating in the first place. Long journeys start with single steps and every block contributes to the overall structure.
I haven't written in ages because I think almost every problem society has stems from one or two sources... Ignorance or Fear.
So there is nothing to write about unless you want the same answers. What is language? Only the same words jumbled up and served differently.
Another is that sometimes I feel differently about something just as soon as I write it, then I retract it, because it no longer needs clarification.
I did, after all, start this blog to soothe my own need to express myself. It's not like I have communication issues; on the contrary, I love to talk about everything and often too. But one of the main reasons I started it was because I've noticed I am cursed... and it's a rare thing, apparently. In fact, I'm often stricken quite hard when I realise that the majority of others avoid what I consider to be quite normal.
Direct problem solving and straight-forward honesty.
Yeah, I know...
But seriously, in a non-Holden Caulfield way, have you ever noticed how fake some people can be when it comes to sorting out their lives? Have you ever noticed some folks avoiding issues, avoiding to acknowledge problems or just generally being dogmatic or prejudiced? It's absolutely astounding the level of blind-sided ignorance one has to allow oneself in order to slate others or one-up them.
It's a rare thing these days to find a group who commend one-another rather than bitch or judge when one leaves the room.
I'm talking about a simple process - acknowledging ones own faults for a change. Why do people assemble in groups to slate a person or criticise? It's funny but true; Because no-one person in the whole world is perfect and a group has far less wrong with them statistically than one person does alone. Yep, we bond and bitch because we're stronger that way. Then we go home, cram food in our gut, watch musicals, listen to terrible music and actually admit liking shit TV when we're safely by ourselves, to ourselves. Because the combined power of the the group is too much for our own little faults. We hate things in groups because it makes us better than the one girl who wore what she wanted for a change because she thought it looks good or the guy who openly talks about being a massive geek in public. We are so fucking strong in groups because our shit friends and colleagues are there to back us up.
My opinion; If you need to badmouth someone in front of another to make yourself seem better than they are, you are two times worse than your "diagnosis" of that person.
I have said previously that I have not written anything in the last while because I have generally been contented with myself. I am that. Just happy. There is no need to rant when the world is good. I find when I do, it's usually the same subject matter... it's one problem, seemingly different to the last one, solved the same way. That's the way most of problems are when you think about it, inflated by the fear we put into them. You take away the fear and put in rational thought and the problem shrinks into obscurity... and in the grand scheme it's just temporary, relative and irrelevant. Honestly, gossip, office banter, competitiveness and bitching usually stem from a few simple things: Jealousy, insecurity, fear of oneself or ignorance of simple issues that could be solved with a moment's honesty. We are quick to point the finger on other's when something "controversial" happens, but we have the fear of God in us when we're nearly judged by our peers for something similar. It's not their fault for judging you... you are to blame for participating in the first place. Long journeys start with single steps and every block contributes to the overall structure.
I haven't written in ages because I think almost every problem society has stems from one or two sources... Ignorance or Fear.
So there is nothing to write about unless you want the same answers. What is language? Only the same words jumbled up and served differently.
Calculate Her
I have spent the best part of my youth, actively trying to figure out two things:
First of all; who am I?
It's fair to say everyone spends the better part of their youth figuring out who they are and the rest of their life trying to forget it. That is what growing up was for me... A battle to find my true identity in a world of tags and judgement. If you seen me today, you would know I was kinda over most of this stuff... my hair is scraggy, my clothes are cheap and worn and my lifestyle reflects this; I do all of my grocery shopping is thrift stores and I drink only the finest cheap booze. My identity is lack of it; no designer gear and absolutely no brand name goods to speak of. Why is that? I honestly don't know. My musical taste is as loose as my general inhibitions. I honestly have very few limits. Morally, principally and ethically, I am fairly straight edge... I decide through close monitoring of my in-built meter on what is good for me and generally speaking, it is the exact same as what is good for everyone else so to put that in layman terms, I don't put my needs over that of another individual. In other words, I don't step on toes to look after no.1. Consent and agreement are two of my priorities. It's fair to say that trust and understanding follow close behind. Treat others how I like to be treated myself. It's a no-brainer. I think some folks are still in direct competition with one-another to "succeed" in life. Some will actually step on your head as you come up for air in order to breathe double-deep to inhale it themselves. And here I thought "success" was based on happiness... I don't understand the need to cause misery of any kind to gain fulfilment, unless you are a sociopath or psychopath. At least those guys have an excuse... what's yours?? Incidentally, I place myself on no tier above that of anyone who reads this... I believe everyone is capable of basic human decency out of birthright, not through some organisation. And I think that is the best source of happiness. The good news? It's fucking FREE!
The second thing is a little more complex than the first.
Women.
It's not unusual to see books and leaflets, shows and broadcasts dedicated to the biggest conundrum of life; why men are the way they are and why women are the way they are. I have friends split to different factions over what is the best way to deal with the subject; some claim it is unfair to treat the two sexes as "different", the other quite openly welcomes the two as different. The only way I can put this is; Why am I attracted to females and not males, if we are both the same? I am quite aware, as are you, that women have boobs and baby-makers. I am also aware that in matters of relationships, men and women are polar opposites with men, generally, being the jack-asses where matters of the heart are concerned. If men and women are the same, why do men start wars, and generally get competitive about things, why do girls like to talk on the phone about seemingly pointless things for hours when guys cannot wait to put the things down? I think it's girls who reckon that we are the same because they would like to believe we feel the same way about relationships. But that is not true. Ask any guy with guts how he really feels about 'em. The answer won't be the same. Unless of course he is genuinely in total and utter love with you. But let me ask you this - how many times have you been told that and where is he now?
These are quite unimportant in this thought process however. Some guys, I have noticed, cannot even sit in the same room as a girl without being intimidated by her ass.When the do have interest in a girl it's almost obsessive and when they are jilted, they are inconsolable. I used to be like this for about a week when I was 14... however, I realised that indeed, girls talk and act a lot like guys in normal situations. Long story short, I was from a separate faction... one that could waffle for hours to a girl without giving a whole lot of thought to it. I could say what I wanted to a girl without being intimidated and generally thought "what the fuck" when I found out there was any interest in me at all.Apparently this has drawbacks however...I'm not clingy and generally stay aloof about the whole couple thing... and this is where curiosity sank in. Guys were obsessing over girls and getting nothing and I was kinda "whatever" about the whole thing and it was going grand. It seems, the more I try stop and think about girls and stuff the less I know - also the less successful I am. Ain't that something?
Why did girls like my disinterest? Why, why, why was I never able to get the one I wanted for a long time, but as soon as I didn't want any more, it fell together?
Crazy.
And it continues on to infinity. I'm sure if there is an equation for it, it's unsolvable... much like the vast expanse of space... a mystery.
And the funny thing? All of this text is pointless. Half may agree and the other half will disagree which makes that a 0-0 draw.
The lesson? Stop trying to figure out something that has no solution.
Not trying = win
Obsessing and over-thinking = loss
isn't that mental?
I also find that I'm now naturally attracted to girls outside my age group... they are usually older or a bit younger. Girls my age are career obsessed, future obsessed and generally-obsessive over things that I have no interest in. They complain when I say that I don't find these things interesting and therefore, through a strange logic, make themselves uninteresting to me by complaining and obsessing. And then there's the control aspect... don't get me started. If the time comes when I find donating whiny brat-juice, and interested in giving my hard-earned money (If I ever find a goddamn job) to greedy bankers a turn -on, I'll be back to apologise! In any event, I guess I am one of the small percentage of those who fall in the "men of a certain age are immature for me" type groups...
And I don't give a shit.
Each to their own, eh?
anyway, end rant/>
First of all; who am I?
It's fair to say everyone spends the better part of their youth figuring out who they are and the rest of their life trying to forget it. That is what growing up was for me... A battle to find my true identity in a world of tags and judgement. If you seen me today, you would know I was kinda over most of this stuff... my hair is scraggy, my clothes are cheap and worn and my lifestyle reflects this; I do all of my grocery shopping is thrift stores and I drink only the finest cheap booze. My identity is lack of it; no designer gear and absolutely no brand name goods to speak of. Why is that? I honestly don't know. My musical taste is as loose as my general inhibitions. I honestly have very few limits. Morally, principally and ethically, I am fairly straight edge... I decide through close monitoring of my in-built meter on what is good for me and generally speaking, it is the exact same as what is good for everyone else so to put that in layman terms, I don't put my needs over that of another individual. In other words, I don't step on toes to look after no.1. Consent and agreement are two of my priorities. It's fair to say that trust and understanding follow close behind. Treat others how I like to be treated myself. It's a no-brainer. I think some folks are still in direct competition with one-another to "succeed" in life. Some will actually step on your head as you come up for air in order to breathe double-deep to inhale it themselves. And here I thought "success" was based on happiness... I don't understand the need to cause misery of any kind to gain fulfilment, unless you are a sociopath or psychopath. At least those guys have an excuse... what's yours?? Incidentally, I place myself on no tier above that of anyone who reads this... I believe everyone is capable of basic human decency out of birthright, not through some organisation. And I think that is the best source of happiness. The good news? It's fucking FREE!
The second thing is a little more complex than the first.
Women.
It's not unusual to see books and leaflets, shows and broadcasts dedicated to the biggest conundrum of life; why men are the way they are and why women are the way they are. I have friends split to different factions over what is the best way to deal with the subject; some claim it is unfair to treat the two sexes as "different", the other quite openly welcomes the two as different. The only way I can put this is; Why am I attracted to females and not males, if we are both the same? I am quite aware, as are you, that women have boobs and baby-makers. I am also aware that in matters of relationships, men and women are polar opposites with men, generally, being the jack-asses where matters of the heart are concerned. If men and women are the same, why do men start wars, and generally get competitive about things, why do girls like to talk on the phone about seemingly pointless things for hours when guys cannot wait to put the things down? I think it's girls who reckon that we are the same because they would like to believe we feel the same way about relationships. But that is not true. Ask any guy with guts how he really feels about 'em. The answer won't be the same. Unless of course he is genuinely in total and utter love with you. But let me ask you this - how many times have you been told that and where is he now?
These are quite unimportant in this thought process however. Some guys, I have noticed, cannot even sit in the same room as a girl without being intimidated by her ass.When the do have interest in a girl it's almost obsessive and when they are jilted, they are inconsolable. I used to be like this for about a week when I was 14... however, I realised that indeed, girls talk and act a lot like guys in normal situations. Long story short, I was from a separate faction... one that could waffle for hours to a girl without giving a whole lot of thought to it. I could say what I wanted to a girl without being intimidated and generally thought "what the fuck" when I found out there was any interest in me at all.Apparently this has drawbacks however...I'm not clingy and generally stay aloof about the whole couple thing... and this is where curiosity sank in. Guys were obsessing over girls and getting nothing and I was kinda "whatever" about the whole thing and it was going grand. It seems, the more I try stop and think about girls and stuff the less I know - also the less successful I am. Ain't that something?
Why did girls like my disinterest? Why, why, why was I never able to get the one I wanted for a long time, but as soon as I didn't want any more, it fell together?
Crazy.
And it continues on to infinity. I'm sure if there is an equation for it, it's unsolvable... much like the vast expanse of space... a mystery.
And the funny thing? All of this text is pointless. Half may agree and the other half will disagree which makes that a 0-0 draw.
The lesson? Stop trying to figure out something that has no solution.
Not trying = win
Obsessing and over-thinking = loss
isn't that mental?
I also find that I'm now naturally attracted to girls outside my age group... they are usually older or a bit younger. Girls my age are career obsessed, future obsessed and generally-obsessive over things that I have no interest in. They complain when I say that I don't find these things interesting and therefore, through a strange logic, make themselves uninteresting to me by complaining and obsessing. And then there's the control aspect... don't get me started. If the time comes when I find donating whiny brat-juice, and interested in giving my hard-earned money (If I ever find a goddamn job) to greedy bankers a turn -on, I'll be back to apologise! In any event, I guess I am one of the small percentage of those who fall in the "men of a certain age are immature for me" type groups...
And I don't give a shit.
Each to their own, eh?
anyway, end rant/>
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