Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Busy at Matt's - The Same Old Song 'n' Dance II

Don't join Facebook groups unless you want them and their authors to spam the fuck out of your inbox. In fact, just don't join Facebook. When you haven't written something pointless for two weeks or wrote some stupid comment, you get inundated with messages asking where the fuck you are.

"I was doing other shit, OK?"

Now that that is out of the way...

When I was in school, teachers always told me I was lazy. Friends throughout the last decade or so have advised me to take up several different roles and I have taken them to mind, then committed them to heart, before inevitably turning them down. I guess I was always just happy and easily entertained. I often thought I was being complacent. Apparently I have been plodding along doing fuck-all with my life, if the standards of the average person is to be taken into account.

I have witnessed one or two people in my generation become a little uneasy with the template that has been laid out for them. As far as I'm concerned I have always been uneasy with it. I have never been able to fully commit to any one thing for too long. Some people have told me that I have a "problem" with "responsibility". I think that is bullshit to be quite frank. What is a person primarily responsible for before anything else? Themselves. Their feelings. Their occupations. Their happiness etcetera. When teachers told me I was lazy, what they probably meant was that I wasn't particularly sharp at any one subject. As in I couldn't excel particularly well at say, Maths, Irish or English even. I have always kinda felt that to be a really excellent Musician, a fantastic Lawyer or a brilliant Scientist, one must make personal sacrifices of say patience, sensitivity and social skills respectively. I guess some of the reasons I am the person I am today is that I never wanted to give up any of these things. OK, this is all not literal scientific proof, just theory, but you get my drift anyways.

I would like to say that I was making excuses for my lifestyle choice. Like I could justify the reasons I don't want to do most of the things you do. It's not that I choose not to do them, I just don't particularly want to. I don't aspire to be heavily in debt. I don't wanna spend my twenties or thirties around screaming kids either. I already spent my tennies and teens around 'em. That is not to say that everyone does exactly the same thing outside my scope of interest, but that generally, most people follow the same "trends", for want of a better word.


When my blogs started to slow down as I decided to do more acting with less theory to see if I could start upon some kinda path that suited me, I found out a few things.

I have been comparing my life to that of others for a number of years now and most of the analysed theories has shown up on a few blogs here. I pretty much wrote everything I could here just so I could get it out of my head and see how others responded to it. The results were predictable but still very very satisfying I have to say. And moreso, it feels pretty good.

I have managed to find a whole crew of people who feel much the same about this life as I do... I found a few new ideas in and around Philosophy, I found a few guys to chat to in the paintball crew I mix with and I have even happened upon one or two by accident. Basically put, I have not really felt the desire to "rant" about how I feel about things because there has been no need. Nowadays I'm just getting restless. Instead of pegging myself down, I just feel like bailing. Instead of worrying about kids and stuff I just want a few new experiences. Thankfully, I have many nieces and nephews to keep me occupied when I travel to Swords. Man I love kids. I love seeing 'em grow up and seeing their funny personalities develop, hearing their funny stories and helping out when I can by talking to 'em and helping them with problems when they arise. I also love how I can just go home after a long day with 'em too...

Society is a huge annoying pile of peer pressure and assumption. If you don't want what everyone else apparently wants and compete and buy concrete, you have "problems". If you don't live between huge piles of concrete and have a lovely hedge and a car you cannot afford you are lower class or a knacker.

Girls have a biological clock and I don't envy that at all. I could never sleep well around loud ticking clocks anyway. Usually when a clock ticks too loudly I lose sleep and get narky. When the problem persists I get a new quieter clock or just put it outta the room entirely.

That doesn't mean I won't miss the clock however. When will women go digital dammit?


No comments:

Post a Comment