Wednesday, September 15, 2010


Why the hell have I not written something on this before?

Fucking Awareness! That's all I have to say.

It's responsible for everything. Everything good, that is.

I'm pretty sure that the majority of us do everything we do with no awareness to it whatsoever. I am guilty of this myself to some degree. Definitely not as much as I used to be though.

I have accepted, for example, that eating food without being aware of what's in it, will make me fat. In fact eating certain amounts of food will do the same thing, if not consciously monitored. I have been concious of this now for approximately 8 years. 8 years, watching everything I eat and drink. Damn if that doesn't take awareness just to execute.

There was a time when not being aware of who I was or where I was, was difficult to deal with. Man if that wasn't a huge wake-up call I dunno what was. I used to get these crazy panic attacks just from day dreaming, I think. Just spending too much time thinking. Projecting. Escaping. All the usual shit we try to justify a lot.

I cannot think of one negative thing about being aware of what you're doing.

Yeah yeah yeah, so you know what I'm talking about. But strangely enough, most people have no idea at all.

Obese people, Drunks, Drug addicts, Abusive people, Bigots, Zealots, Prejudiced people and so on.

All unconscious. All spending too much time thinking about things. All trying to get away from their thoughts or changing the world to suit their "dream" world. People who continue to try "lose weight" without ever changing the process that makes them so to begin with. People who refuse to acknowledge they have a problem or the reality of their condition. People who use stimulants to give them a bigger kick of reality, to lose "inhibitions" (in other words, the thoughts that make them insecure) People who fabricate differences in races based on scrutiny and bias. People who aren't happy enough to be alive, but are afraid of death, like it's separable from life. People who cling so hard to possessions and  items rather than the common good of mankind. People who think their situation is the only "right" way to be. It's actually a strain to put myself in their shoes.

But anyway, just about everything bad you can pin to a person in this existence is down to ignorance, over thinking and lack of awareness. We have brains. they are capable of some tremendous things, solving problems, situations, big ideas. But we are obsessed with them. We over use them. Smokers? Refuse to become aware of the fact that their cigarettes that they work hard and pay for are killing them. Nobody wants to acknowledge that if they have something they want to do in this life, one day they'll be too old and tired or sick, to do it. One shot my friend, become aware of that. Breathe, listen, watch, feel, touch, smell... do whatever. Just stop thinking for a while. Conjuring up reasons why/why not. Thinking you are too good/not good enough. Time is ticking. That is, your body is getting older. Clock time isn't against you only your on-board ticker. And no one that thinks too much is going to help you out. Think on your feet. Be impulsive. Create. Say. Do. Be. Just start fucking existing. How many girls have I lost to the ideas in their heads? How many conversations have been interrupted by those who don't listen but just keep thinking while you're talking to them?

And as soon as you become aware of something, don't let it go. Don't lose it to a daydream or a projection of what may never happen. Stay with it.

Let's be honest, your life pretty much depends on it.


  1. Man, I agree with you completely. If only it wasn't so difficult to get rid of these thought patterns.

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