I was washing the dishes, watching my hands rinse those buggers, wash off all the crap left over from my last meal, watching it spin down the drain and go to rot somewhere I have no idea it's whereabouts...
Well that is just how my thoughts meander as I type whatever comes to mind. Yeah, that is pretty pointless I guess, in a really superficial kind of way.
I could have been thinking about how awful something was, how fortunate someone else was or dreaming about something I couldn't possibly afford, Time ticking by, My 30th birthday coming up, a number of things really. A multitude. Anything. I could have dived into the depths of a thought as unstable as the common particle, when you get down to it.
You have your first initial thought about something and the more you get to the core of it, the more unstable it becomes... quite like quantum physics. Did you know it is currently impossible to calculate anything below a quark*, a particle of a particle because the more you try and learn about it's mass, the less you know about it's location and vice versa. These are fascinating things. The world's biggest brains cannot figure it out and the worlds smallest dismiss it completely. I find the common problem is like that for the rest of us. Someone asks us something simple and we worry over it until our guts rot.
It's a pointless endeavour. I have lost all faith in the common thought. I try only to use my brain when I need it because when the brain is put to figure out something intricate from something simple, you will be toppled by the variety of answers and blown to and fro by rationalisation. It could be something simple like boiling the kettle; "will I actually have time for a cup of tea?" Doesn't this run up the electricity?", "oh I might have to use the bathroom in about 10 minutes" and onwards it goes. I mean we think we are being simple, like the atom would if it didn't know it had all those damn particles running around inside it... assuming it does...
You see?
But the point is, it's far simpler and a lot less stressful to get up off your arse and click the switch. Presto! The kettle is boiling. Whether you use the water or not is irrelevant. remember the phrase (or paraphrase!) it takes X amount of muscles to frown whereas it takes X amount less to smile (or the alternate ending; ..... to extend your arm to punch someone in the face) It's a simple answer to a very common problem... we dream ourselves in and out of stress for more than we use our delicious brains to actually calculate something worthwhile. Anyway.
My only reason for writing this was to say that the more you think about something, the less stable it becomes. Of course, we have scientists who do all of our thinking for us. they can give us a multitude of equations to solve this and that problem... and indeed, all of our technology, or at least the most useful of it, comes from two main theories... Quantum Physics and Relativity. Two incomplete "theories". That's it, our two most stable scientific accomplishments are themselves unstable. Our particles are unstable, our governments are unstable and our relationships are unstable. Hell, we got prisons and asylums full of people who are unstable. We have people walking among us everyday that are themselves unstable...
And yet you are still surprised. You worry yourself over mortgages and arrears, money, holidays and the works and you think that you are struggling for stability.
Out there there is a huge universe and arguably, a multiverse that is changing and changing. Your body is changing every day. your mind is changing, you are worried, because you are holding on with all of your might. All those wee atoms are bouncing and bouncing about like crazy. It's no wonder you are worried... your little slice of heaven is unstable as everything else we know about.
Technology is swelling, military growing, economy rising and collapsing, ice caps melting, tides raging, wind changing, relationships fading, people ageing, hearts racing, love embracing. It goes and it goes. you should let those thoughts rise and fall and stop clinging to 'em, because they, like our environment, require freedom. Our thoughts are like prisoners of our head just as the particle tries desperately to exist without being the prisoner of the scientist. It's a strange kinda magic.
Everything has got a point, or reason for being the way it is
Deeper you look, the more unstable things become. It's no reason to lose confidence... in fact it is the opposite. You now know that no matter what the idea, the thought or action, everything has it's place.
I have often heard some say they regret this or that, they should have done this or that or changed something. Total arsery if you ask me. You are where you are because of what you once did. If things were any different, you wouldn't be the person you are to give out about it in the first place.
And now the thought ends
~FIN
* I may have my science wrong, but it's definitely close enough
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
I Love Metaphors
I love metaphors more than anything else.
But there is something I love only slightly less and then everything else fights over 3rd place
In second place only to metaphors;
My teeth
I love my teeth. Once when I was sixteen, I noticed they were in a really bad way. They were full of cavities, gaps and were generally a little the worse for wear. they were fucked, not to put too fine a point on it.
Being that I was sixteen, I was slightly intelligent, but I did something that was fairly advanced in thought. I maintained the shit out of them. Never was I "ordered" to look after my teeth. Not once was I given apt guidance as how to look after them but I was told; probably by a dentist or teacher or someone else "you only get one more set, then it's bye bye teeth for life unless you are very well off!"
Shock set in when I realised I was well into my second set and had teeth comparable of a thirty something but only in my teens! Well, this is what the dentist eventually said to me when I scurried down after making a rushed appointment. I was into my second week of fillings and probably on the fifth when I realised that that was a pain I didn't want to feel again.
That was the pain of experience folks. It fucking hurts like nothing else. Maybe it hurts more because it hurts your feelings too, to realise you have been a bit of an eejit. A bit neglectful, or possibly a little ignorant of how you should* have done it. That is physical and emotional pain... a double whammy.
See teeth are useful when in their best condition. I know it's not possible to maintain them to 100% of their "new" condition, but you can keep that fairly high. Otherwise they are filled with a substance that is only second best to enamel, or if you're really unfortunate** they rip that sucker right out.
Now, the metaphor.
So I was thinking about the whole close relationship thing again (yeah I know, but you are reading this so bear with me)
See dental maintenance is a lot like a relationship... not even necessarily a good one. It can decay fast when you don't notice it. Things like these take a lot of awareness and a lot of maintenance... not to mention good judgement. Lets say Person A&B were in a difficult relationship where each and every thing they cannot agree on becomes a bigger and bigger cavity. You brush those motherfuckers until they are spick and span, but you keep gobbling it up thinking "I know it's bad for me, but if I keep brushing 'em it'll be okay!"
let me ask you a question; when your folks asked you to brush up when you were young, did you keep it up?
Good.
Bet you've needed a filling or two since your second set. You did? Well if you are really good, they'll last you until your older years. Fair play. If not, however, they are gonna really start to hurt further on down.
See the problem with bad stuff is it is determined to erode the shit outta your prized possession. I mean, try get someone to kiss you when you're gummy!
Let's say you are one of those clever folks who is quite aware of the perils of bad food on your teeth. You know what's good... and what to stay away from. You are going to steer clear of that bad shit because you know that decay is inevitable... you know that ignorance is not bliss in fact more often than not, it causes you some feckin' awful pain. When the chips are right down you may need a false set or if you are particularly wealthy, a new set of fake teeth that look just like your own. Is that comparable to "Trophy Wife" or "Toy Boy"? I'll let you decide.
See once you are aware of what is bad for your teeth, cavities become less and less. Trips to the dentist are less frequent unless it's a check-up whereby you are asked "are you happy with the care and condition of your teeth?"
Otherwise it's black holes, pain, discomfort and of course, the high cost of keeping it that way until one morning you wake up and think "Holy FUCK! I gotta do something about this!"
Tell your kids folks. Let 'em know.... dental care is very fucking important. Otherwise you're trying to make it all better by filling your teeth with something that is less than perfect.
Or maybe you like having bad teeth, bad breath, no confidence....
~FIN
*I hate using the word "Should". Captain Hindsight and I are arch-nemesis. I mean, how should you do something differently than you are? Travel back in time and do it? Mistakes makes for better experiences, then should becomes irrelevant... you adapt a new way. Ever try telling a kid how they "should" behave? They don't do it, do they?
**They say fortune favours the brave... in the subject of dental maintenance however, there is no "fortune" there is only stupidity or smarts. You either look after them or you don't and in the latter case, it's "hello!" Mr Drill or worse, Mr. Feckin' Pliers!
But there is something I love only slightly less and then everything else fights over 3rd place
In second place only to metaphors;
My teeth
I love my teeth. Once when I was sixteen, I noticed they were in a really bad way. They were full of cavities, gaps and were generally a little the worse for wear. they were fucked, not to put too fine a point on it.
Being that I was sixteen, I was slightly intelligent, but I did something that was fairly advanced in thought. I maintained the shit out of them. Never was I "ordered" to look after my teeth. Not once was I given apt guidance as how to look after them but I was told; probably by a dentist or teacher or someone else "you only get one more set, then it's bye bye teeth for life unless you are very well off!"
Shock set in when I realised I was well into my second set and had teeth comparable of a thirty something but only in my teens! Well, this is what the dentist eventually said to me when I scurried down after making a rushed appointment. I was into my second week of fillings and probably on the fifth when I realised that that was a pain I didn't want to feel again.
That was the pain of experience folks. It fucking hurts like nothing else. Maybe it hurts more because it hurts your feelings too, to realise you have been a bit of an eejit. A bit neglectful, or possibly a little ignorant of how you should* have done it. That is physical and emotional pain... a double whammy.
See teeth are useful when in their best condition. I know it's not possible to maintain them to 100% of their "new" condition, but you can keep that fairly high. Otherwise they are filled with a substance that is only second best to enamel, or if you're really unfortunate** they rip that sucker right out.
Now, the metaphor.
So I was thinking about the whole close relationship thing again (yeah I know, but you are reading this so bear with me)
See dental maintenance is a lot like a relationship... not even necessarily a good one. It can decay fast when you don't notice it. Things like these take a lot of awareness and a lot of maintenance... not to mention good judgement. Lets say Person A&B were in a difficult relationship where each and every thing they cannot agree on becomes a bigger and bigger cavity. You brush those motherfuckers until they are spick and span, but you keep gobbling it up thinking "I know it's bad for me, but if I keep brushing 'em it'll be okay!"
let me ask you a question; when your folks asked you to brush up when you were young, did you keep it up?
Good.
Bet you've needed a filling or two since your second set. You did? Well if you are really good, they'll last you until your older years. Fair play. If not, however, they are gonna really start to hurt further on down.
See the problem with bad stuff is it is determined to erode the shit outta your prized possession. I mean, try get someone to kiss you when you're gummy!
Let's say you are one of those clever folks who is quite aware of the perils of bad food on your teeth. You know what's good... and what to stay away from. You are going to steer clear of that bad shit because you know that decay is inevitable... you know that ignorance is not bliss in fact more often than not, it causes you some feckin' awful pain. When the chips are right down you may need a false set or if you are particularly wealthy, a new set of fake teeth that look just like your own. Is that comparable to "Trophy Wife" or "Toy Boy"? I'll let you decide.
See once you are aware of what is bad for your teeth, cavities become less and less. Trips to the dentist are less frequent unless it's a check-up whereby you are asked "are you happy with the care and condition of your teeth?"
Otherwise it's black holes, pain, discomfort and of course, the high cost of keeping it that way until one morning you wake up and think "Holy FUCK! I gotta do something about this!"
Tell your kids folks. Let 'em know.... dental care is very fucking important. Otherwise you're trying to make it all better by filling your teeth with something that is less than perfect.
Or maybe you like having bad teeth, bad breath, no confidence....
~FIN
*I hate using the word "Should". Captain Hindsight and I are arch-nemesis. I mean, how should you do something differently than you are? Travel back in time and do it? Mistakes makes for better experiences, then should becomes irrelevant... you adapt a new way. Ever try telling a kid how they "should" behave? They don't do it, do they?
**They say fortune favours the brave... in the subject of dental maintenance however, there is no "fortune" there is only stupidity or smarts. You either look after them or you don't and in the latter case, it's "hello!" Mr Drill or worse, Mr. Feckin' Pliers!
Monday, November 22, 2010
Crooked Teeth
"I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say"... Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie
I am going to propose that the heart rules the head in the majority of matters.
I will explain it through this criteria: When people hurt us or challenge our ways, we feel it before we respond to it. All of life's complications that arrive through a sensory means, ie; through touch, speech, etc involve our heart feeling an emotion that needs to be translated in order for our brain to understand it.
This can be looked at in an example like when you get a "bad feeling" from someone you are likely to try to figure them out or reason why they behave in a manner you find to be objectionable. Some folks respond to a person immediately by how they feel about them. Others may decide to "give them a chance" based on criteria they personally set about them. Both usually result in the same diagnosis, however, the one where the heart or the "gut" decides immediately, may be the one closer to truth. This is judged with a factor like time being in the equation. In other words, when we find out "over time" what our instincts told us immediately we realise that indeed, our hearts rule our heads.
In another example, like say the breakdown of a relationship, our hearts or "gut" may well tell us in advance where we know the relationship is destined without rationalising it further. however, when we consult a factor like "memory" of the person or a snapshot of happier times, it may delay what we feel is the overall best solution to our dilemma. We often let emotions like Empathy override our initial instinct and the combination of this empathy coupled with our thoughts, the translation of the empathy passed from our partner to us and into "memories" through a thought process may also override our best interests in favour of a lost cause which we may already know to be true. This, in my opinion is again the heart ruling the head.
When the head rules the heart, often-times we see this to be as an experience.... a number of stimuli that amount to a situation being ruled by probabilities. Let's say for example you a find yourself repeating a similar experience from the past where a certain experience led you into an uncomfortable situation. Factors like the probability that another will manipulate you the same way as someone did previously or a recognised pattern of behaviour will lead you into a set of similar circumstances that were undesirable sets the probability that what you are experiencing is probably worth avoiding. This is typically a situation where the head rules the heart.
Another is more simply put. You may know a person to be unreliable in meeting your expectations which are again, an emotional response, not a logical one. You may really feel that you want them to come through for you, but then, through experience, you know it is unlikely to come to pass because you maybe asked this person to do something say like, 10 times but they have maybe only did it twice. This puts their probability at 2/10 which means they are unlikely to provide the assistance you need. This is another area whereby the head rules the heart.
As we are all sentient human beings, all of our experiences must meet our emotional needs before our logical needs. Simply put, we must experience a situation before we have any knowledge of it. This will maybe appeal to you if, say, you look at how you behaved when you were 18 and cringe. This is so because you have a stable base to work from. It is unlikely that you are anything like the person you were then because you have felt some kind of emotion that has steered your person to experience life differently. You may approach a situation similar to when you were young, but with the knowledge to back it up. You may not feel as embarrassed or as anxious in a repeated situation because your heart has processed it into logic and your logic used in order to deduce the same situation into probability. in other words, a situation you once experienced emotionally in all it's detail may have less of an impact on your person because you have learned or experienced it fully.
I do think however, that because we are older does not mean we cannot genuinely feel emotions like love, sadness, happiness etc like when we had no knowledge of their adverse effects as opposed to just their positive effects. Our standards change and we continually try to predict how a situation will unravel. It's fair to say a lot of similar people with similar characteristics may indeed behave and direct situations into the same way as we have once experienced, but it is unfair to say that everyone is predictable and exactly the same down to the core. For this my only advice would be to stop living in your head and trust your heart a little more. An experienced heart will never steer you into an undesirable situation once you have complete trust in it. After all, the only person who's going to understand exactly what your heart wants is you. If you spend too much time in your head however, you may find yourself experiencing some of those positive emotions ever again based purely on a handful of bad experiences. After all, aren't there so many different people out there? And if you find yourself biased and bored, put yourself into the company of those you consider "different" and keep experiencing something different instead of judging each situation the same way.
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say"... Crooked Teeth - Death Cab For Cutie
I am going to propose that the heart rules the head in the majority of matters.
I will explain it through this criteria: When people hurt us or challenge our ways, we feel it before we respond to it. All of life's complications that arrive through a sensory means, ie; through touch, speech, etc involve our heart feeling an emotion that needs to be translated in order for our brain to understand it.
This can be looked at in an example like when you get a "bad feeling" from someone you are likely to try to figure them out or reason why they behave in a manner you find to be objectionable. Some folks respond to a person immediately by how they feel about them. Others may decide to "give them a chance" based on criteria they personally set about them. Both usually result in the same diagnosis, however, the one where the heart or the "gut" decides immediately, may be the one closer to truth. This is judged with a factor like time being in the equation. In other words, when we find out "over time" what our instincts told us immediately we realise that indeed, our hearts rule our heads.
In another example, like say the breakdown of a relationship, our hearts or "gut" may well tell us in advance where we know the relationship is destined without rationalising it further. however, when we consult a factor like "memory" of the person or a snapshot of happier times, it may delay what we feel is the overall best solution to our dilemma. We often let emotions like Empathy override our initial instinct and the combination of this empathy coupled with our thoughts, the translation of the empathy passed from our partner to us and into "memories" through a thought process may also override our best interests in favour of a lost cause which we may already know to be true. This, in my opinion is again the heart ruling the head.
When the head rules the heart, often-times we see this to be as an experience.... a number of stimuli that amount to a situation being ruled by probabilities. Let's say for example you a find yourself repeating a similar experience from the past where a certain experience led you into an uncomfortable situation. Factors like the probability that another will manipulate you the same way as someone did previously or a recognised pattern of behaviour will lead you into a set of similar circumstances that were undesirable sets the probability that what you are experiencing is probably worth avoiding. This is typically a situation where the head rules the heart.
Another is more simply put. You may know a person to be unreliable in meeting your expectations which are again, an emotional response, not a logical one. You may really feel that you want them to come through for you, but then, through experience, you know it is unlikely to come to pass because you maybe asked this person to do something say like, 10 times but they have maybe only did it twice. This puts their probability at 2/10 which means they are unlikely to provide the assistance you need. This is another area whereby the head rules the heart.
As we are all sentient human beings, all of our experiences must meet our emotional needs before our logical needs. Simply put, we must experience a situation before we have any knowledge of it. This will maybe appeal to you if, say, you look at how you behaved when you were 18 and cringe. This is so because you have a stable base to work from. It is unlikely that you are anything like the person you were then because you have felt some kind of emotion that has steered your person to experience life differently. You may approach a situation similar to when you were young, but with the knowledge to back it up. You may not feel as embarrassed or as anxious in a repeated situation because your heart has processed it into logic and your logic used in order to deduce the same situation into probability. in other words, a situation you once experienced emotionally in all it's detail may have less of an impact on your person because you have learned or experienced it fully.
I do think however, that because we are older does not mean we cannot genuinely feel emotions like love, sadness, happiness etc like when we had no knowledge of their adverse effects as opposed to just their positive effects. Our standards change and we continually try to predict how a situation will unravel. It's fair to say a lot of similar people with similar characteristics may indeed behave and direct situations into the same way as we have once experienced, but it is unfair to say that everyone is predictable and exactly the same down to the core. For this my only advice would be to stop living in your head and trust your heart a little more. An experienced heart will never steer you into an undesirable situation once you have complete trust in it. After all, the only person who's going to understand exactly what your heart wants is you. If you spend too much time in your head however, you may find yourself experiencing some of those positive emotions ever again based purely on a handful of bad experiences. After all, aren't there so many different people out there? And if you find yourself biased and bored, put yourself into the company of those you consider "different" and keep experiencing something different instead of judging each situation the same way.
Apathy Kills
Quite often you'll hear someone you know say "I don't really care"
And quite often they don't. Sometimes, however, all that person is saying is "I really don't want to think about it right now" - who could blame them? In times like these, everyone finds it difficult to face their problems when there are so many.
But as far as my own personal experience goes, Apathy never really solved anyone's problems. In fact, apathy may be the biggest killer out there in the world at the moment.
With regards to starvation, for example, one of these two occurrences with apathy may be uttered by the common person. "I don't care if they starve", "I don't care who is starving so long as MY family are all right". Imagine the whole world felt that way? When your boss doesn't care whether you're family starve or not, when the company fortune is at stake you will soon care whether someone starves or not.
Imagine a Solicitor who doesn't care who they cross so long as they make their fortune. They strive, they beat down and defeat all of their competition. Soon enough, they are at the top, trying, as most do, to find out how to dodge what little tax they are paying. Now imagine that for whatever reason their huge salary is threatened by a 10% hike in tax. They are paying slightly more than they used to, they protest it. Imagine no one else gave a shit and said Solicitor had to protest alone... how would they feel? Thankfully for them, they are in a small margin or high earners who the government will not hit. This is the problem you see. people aren't trying there best any more for each other... they are trying for themselves. Trying to be in that small percentage who don't have to worry about anyone else, because the fellas in charge will do it for them. The people striving at the bottom, they try their hardest to keep everyone's head above water because we all know, if we don't that once the Jones' down the street are hit, soon enough we will too. The solicitor, lucky for them, will find someone to protest along side them you see for every margin of wealth, there are supporters to help them get back on their feet and fight for their rights. And I'm pretty sure their competition, who they once beat down will share the "I don't care" approach of this once lucky rival. Why should they care? You only cared for yourself!
Tax though.. isn't it horrible being forced to care about your common man??
So you see apathy is a trait only few can afford to have. "I don't really care about the bailouts because right now I have dinner booked at the Ritz and wear Versace suits". You may be the next person to lose your job mate, unless you are a high ranking bank official, that is. If you work in unskilled, semi-skilled or even a private or public job, your foundations are just as ropey as the rest of us, soft stepping across a rickety bridge over a deep canyon of poverty. Saying "I don't care" will only get you so far unless you are so rich you do not have to live here.
If apathy were a dominant human trait, you may not have the job you treasure so much for your designer clothes, footwear, handbags, fast cars and jewellery. Someone has to want to give you that cash. Someone has to support your rights to earn, to work and to succeed. If it were every man for himself, we'd all be fucked, tired, broken and starved. Slavery, greed, corruption, rape and torture would be every day occurrences on every level. If no one cared, you'd be on the street, eating a dog turd with every infection known to mankind because you were just trying to get by.
Every time you say you don't care, think of those around you who care enough for your basic rights then say it again. Think of those braving the cold and rain, out protesting, to support you devil-may-care attitude.
You may be eating at the Ritz tonight, but it may well be a soup kitchen tomorrow
And quite often they don't. Sometimes, however, all that person is saying is "I really don't want to think about it right now" - who could blame them? In times like these, everyone finds it difficult to face their problems when there are so many.
But as far as my own personal experience goes, Apathy never really solved anyone's problems. In fact, apathy may be the biggest killer out there in the world at the moment.
With regards to starvation, for example, one of these two occurrences with apathy may be uttered by the common person. "I don't care if they starve", "I don't care who is starving so long as MY family are all right". Imagine the whole world felt that way? When your boss doesn't care whether you're family starve or not, when the company fortune is at stake you will soon care whether someone starves or not.
Imagine a Solicitor who doesn't care who they cross so long as they make their fortune. They strive, they beat down and defeat all of their competition. Soon enough, they are at the top, trying, as most do, to find out how to dodge what little tax they are paying. Now imagine that for whatever reason their huge salary is threatened by a 10% hike in tax. They are paying slightly more than they used to, they protest it. Imagine no one else gave a shit and said Solicitor had to protest alone... how would they feel? Thankfully for them, they are in a small margin or high earners who the government will not hit. This is the problem you see. people aren't trying there best any more for each other... they are trying for themselves. Trying to be in that small percentage who don't have to worry about anyone else, because the fellas in charge will do it for them. The people striving at the bottom, they try their hardest to keep everyone's head above water because we all know, if we don't that once the Jones' down the street are hit, soon enough we will too. The solicitor, lucky for them, will find someone to protest along side them you see for every margin of wealth, there are supporters to help them get back on their feet and fight for their rights. And I'm pretty sure their competition, who they once beat down will share the "I don't care" approach of this once lucky rival. Why should they care? You only cared for yourself!
Tax though.. isn't it horrible being forced to care about your common man??
So you see apathy is a trait only few can afford to have. "I don't really care about the bailouts because right now I have dinner booked at the Ritz and wear Versace suits". You may be the next person to lose your job mate, unless you are a high ranking bank official, that is. If you work in unskilled, semi-skilled or even a private or public job, your foundations are just as ropey as the rest of us, soft stepping across a rickety bridge over a deep canyon of poverty. Saying "I don't care" will only get you so far unless you are so rich you do not have to live here.
If apathy were a dominant human trait, you may not have the job you treasure so much for your designer clothes, footwear, handbags, fast cars and jewellery. Someone has to want to give you that cash. Someone has to support your rights to earn, to work and to succeed. If it were every man for himself, we'd all be fucked, tired, broken and starved. Slavery, greed, corruption, rape and torture would be every day occurrences on every level. If no one cared, you'd be on the street, eating a dog turd with every infection known to mankind because you were just trying to get by.
Every time you say you don't care, think of those around you who care enough for your basic rights then say it again. Think of those braving the cold and rain, out protesting, to support you devil-may-care attitude.
You may be eating at the Ritz tonight, but it may well be a soup kitchen tomorrow
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