Monday, November 29, 2010

I Love Metaphors

I love metaphors more than anything else.

But there is something I love only slightly less and then everything else fights over 3rd place

In second place only to metaphors;

My teeth

I love my teeth. Once when I was sixteen, I noticed they were in a really bad way. They were full of cavities, gaps and were generally a little the worse for wear. they were fucked, not to put too fine a point on it.

Being that I was sixteen, I was slightly intelligent, but I did something that was fairly advanced in thought. I maintained the shit out of them. Never was I "ordered" to look after my teeth. Not once was I given apt guidance as how to look after them but I was told; probably by a dentist or teacher or someone else "you only get one more set, then it's bye bye teeth for life unless you are very well off!"

Shock set in when I realised I was well into my second set and had teeth comparable of a thirty something but only in my teens! Well, this is what the dentist eventually said to me when I scurried down after making a rushed appointment. I was into my second week of fillings and probably on the fifth when I realised that that was a pain I didn't want to feel again.

That was the pain of experience folks. It fucking hurts like nothing else. Maybe it hurts more because it hurts your feelings too, to realise you have been a bit of an eejit. A bit neglectful, or possibly a little ignorant of how you should* have done it. That is physical and emotional pain... a double whammy.

See teeth are useful when in their best condition. I know it's not possible to maintain them to 100% of their "new" condition, but you can keep that fairly high. Otherwise they are filled with a substance that is only second best to enamel, or if you're really unfortunate** they rip that sucker right out.

Now, the metaphor.

So I was thinking about the whole close relationship thing again (yeah I know, but you are reading this so bear with me)

See dental maintenance is a lot like a relationship... not even necessarily a good one. It can decay fast when you don't notice it. Things like these take a lot of awareness and a lot of maintenance... not to mention good judgement. Lets say Person A&B were in a difficult relationship where each and every thing they cannot agree on becomes a bigger and bigger cavity. You brush those motherfuckers until they are spick and span, but you keep gobbling it up thinking "I know it's bad for me, but if I keep brushing 'em it'll be okay!"

let me ask you a question; when your folks asked you to brush up when you were young, did you keep it up?


Bet you've needed a filling or two since your second set. You did? Well if you are really good, they'll last you until your older years. Fair play. If not, however, they are gonna really start to hurt further on down.

See the problem with bad stuff is it is determined to erode the shit outta your prized possession. I mean, try get someone to kiss you when you're gummy!

Let's say you are one of those clever folks who is quite aware of the perils of bad food on your teeth. You know what's good... and what to stay away from. You are going to steer clear of that bad shit because you know that decay is inevitable... you know that ignorance is not bliss in fact more often than not, it causes you some feckin' awful pain. When the chips are right down you may need a false set or if you are particularly wealthy, a new set of fake teeth that look just like your own. Is that comparable to "Trophy Wife" or "Toy Boy"? I'll let you decide.

See once you are aware of what is bad for your teeth, cavities become less and less. Trips to the dentist are less frequent unless it's a check-up whereby you are asked "are you happy with the care and condition of your teeth?"

Otherwise it's black holes, pain, discomfort and of course, the high cost of keeping it that way until one morning you wake up and think "Holy FUCK! I gotta do something about this!"

Tell your kids folks. Let 'em know.... dental care is very fucking important. Otherwise you're trying to make it all better by filling your teeth with something that is less than perfect.

Or maybe you like having bad teeth, bad breath, no confidence....


*I hate using the word "Should". Captain Hindsight and I are arch-nemesis. I mean, how should you do something differently than you are? Travel back in time and do it? Mistakes makes for better experiences, then should becomes irrelevant... you adapt a new way. Ever try telling a kid how they "should" behave? They don't do it, do they?

**They say fortune favours the brave... in the subject of dental maintenance however, there is no "fortune" there is only stupidity or smarts. You either look after them or you don't and in the latter case, it's "hello!" Mr Drill or worse, Mr. Feckin' Pliers!

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