The Mother of all weekends... Paintball and Piss-Up

OK everyone, This isn't really a rant.

I'm starting to rot. I'm turning into a ghoul

And it's from pure exposure to boredom

I feel my limbs are starting to dissolve and mush and become generally useless.

And while they're at it, my brain is turning into sticky jam. It's icky pants

And it used to be so solid. It used to be like a nice, ripe turnip, but a turnip ...that had some good ideas... Em, however ...that works out.

I dunno.

But what's more, the turnip used to taste good

Em, can you imagine that? A turnip that tastes good! No friggin' way.

I can think of one person who would not ever, in a million years think turnip is good. But imagine that idea anyway. It's ironic. A turnip that kept going until it was beautiful. Impossible!

It's almost impossible

Almost

Anyway, enough about feckin' turnips! How'd I start talking about them ey?

OK, I am sick of this destiny. Not a destiny I want by any means, but a destiny I am forced into, whether like it or not, apparently.

I'm watching people drop off the face of the earth in their complacency I see it everywhere. It's rife! They are the same people who will complain in future that they did nothing and never went out, the same folks who keep saying "oooh, we should meet up some time", but no more! I cannot take it!

What I'm proposing is the monster session to decide whether or not we're ready to die off, whether we're ready to give in, whether we're gonna stop and accept our laziness and complacency or whether or not we'll look back at our 25-35 decade and just cop out or not. We have a choice in who we spend our time with whether we want to admit it or not. We can wither, regret and die from our 40's onward. Besides, if she actually loves you at all, she'll let you off your leash to enjoy yourself once.

I just want to break the cycle, that's all

This is the first step only. Do you have the energy to keep climbing or are you going to breast feed your grand-kids? For fuck's sake, you'll be 35-40 in 10 years... what'll you do then? give out about what you didn't do? Come on. Let's be real here!

The people who answer this will want to meet their friends, go mental (or just semi-insane) enjoy life and forge on before they hand their destiny away to some pissant who annoys and controls them because they are too whingey to enjoy life and be honest with themselves.

At least try to offer me an excuse I probably won't believe anyway.

21st's are not a good excuse! How many people are turning 21 this year anyway?? At last count it was a billion! First person who gives me this i will hire Vinny Jones to to go around to their house and vugger them (that's buggery Vinny Jones style. I heard he also does weddings and Christenings)

A monster session will happen on the weekend of the 22 may. That is on a Saturday, almost a month from now. Tell your fella you got something going on. Tell your girlfriend that coronation street is always on but your friends aren't. Tell her you'll kiss her arse later. I am sick of trying to organise stuff with deadbeats who shouldn't be on my mind and keep letting me down. At least this is a good way to eliminate those who would keep shrugging off a bit of fun for a life of being controlled or not being arsed, generally. People who could matter but probably aren't worth their salt. Just do the right thing, stop lying to me and yourself. Go rot in a corner if you can't be arsed.

But most of all, Just go be old somewhere else.

This is a core important factor as far as I'm concerned. People wait for one or two motivated individuals to do all their planning and just accept or shoot it down out of convenience. I wish I weren't the type to keep doing this organising. I even tried fight it for a while, but I guess it just cannot be any other way. And so it goes. But at the very least, I'll get to cut down my efforts a bit. I get to stop including people who are generally not interested in doing stuff but only pretend to fool themselves that they are.

And those rigid argumentative and close minded types, please save yourself the bother and just don't reply at all.

Thanks again :-)

Truth Part 1

Truth is a virtue

Truth is a gift. I'm not going to say it's a gift from anyone, because that would be to go out on a limb and to go completely on a tangent. And besides, it's irrelevant where you recognise it from, so long as you realise that when you use it, you feel a lot better about yourself. you want to be near it. It feels good.

But it is available and nobody really knows it.

I think some of us have an idea of what it's supposed to encompass, and betray their own understanding of it from the generally accepted version of things.

Solicitors will tell us there needs to be legal jargon only they can read in order to understand it. Priests will tell you they can channel it. Mothers will tell you you are not using it. Lovers will say you are avoiding it. But tell me this, how on earth can all of these people know it and you don't?

I'll tell you why, because you know damn well what it is. And you dislike the fact that you can smell it a mile off.

You know when you are being lied to. You know when you are being cheated. You know when real feelings are being embellished when a friend says something but means another. You know how your relationship has been going. You know where it's stopping.

Why on Earth do you try so hard to get away from it?

The truth does hurt, it's true. And the only reason it hurts is because you have your back against the door when it's barging in. The truth is that guy the cops won't arrest for harassing you, because though you've had your barring orders in the past, you have broken them or lifted them.

You cannot keep the truth 500ft from you at all times. You cannot ignore it when it begs for your forgiveness. Besides, you owe the truth an apology, don't you?

All those friends you had years ago, but cringe when you think about. Truth is the ammo that does all the hurting. That feeling of "I told you so" when you feel let down in spite of your expectations... That's truth again. When that guy comes in late again even though he said he wouldn't. Truth once more. That pain you get when you really want to believe something but the signs just say "no", whether personal or physical or whatever. That's our friend who just won't go away again.

Now this is something I just cannot get to grips with. I don't mean truth, I mean the avoidance of it.Why do we try so fucking hard to avoid the truth? I mean the person you are talking to knows it, you know it, but the little grey area of space between you doesn't. Are you trying to piss off that grey area of space? It doesn't care! you both know the truth! Come on, we all know O.J shot his wife, right? What the hell did all that legal jargon prove then, ey?

Why is truth becoming such a commodity? Why is it hard to find a lover that will tell it like they see it? Why is there so much legal disclaimer bull when we all know what the real issue is? Man has a big problem with truth and it's right in front of us the whole time. We use it as a bargaining chip. Sad, I know. Withholding it does us absolutely no favours, That's why we cop out, believe in a God and lead unfulfilled lives. Every feckin' gobshite can have morals and principles, but only a true human can live by them. Others really need guidance, because they fear the truth. And it's the only thing that keeps us existing, I'll tell you. If you're kid is malnourished, truth is, having no access to food will kill it. If your lover is cheating, truth is they want to change things. If your boss treats you like shit, they don't want you there. If you've been talking to that girl at check-out... well you know how this goes.

So why do we trust truth in the hands of people who lie to us so often? Even on a national basis? Well we know they are liars, but we like to believe that these fantasies are true, even if we know different. Truth underlies a basic concept and that is the knowledge that something will happen if we just KNOW it will. But we know in our hearts when we are being lied to. It could be some schmuck on the radio, they could be on TV or we could be living with them... but it doesn't change the properties of what it actually is. There is nothing at all on earth like the truth. I could get scientific but I won't :P

Truth is like a rare element the rich become obsessed with... much like gold. And like gold, you cannot just "make it up" out of pure will. If there was a God, our hearts would be made of pure fucking gold, guaranteed. But unlike gold, we are all rich in truth if we wanna be.

And it's fucking free.

Nothing Pleases Everyone

I've decided not to write anything profound today. It's not like it's anything of a great effort to write profound things and it's not like I don't want to, I just feel that sometimes it all relates back to the same basic things. So I am not going to write anything interesting at all. In fact I am just going to tell a story instead because I have noting better to do if I am not to write what i feel like I should write. I am going to write something that is for you instead of myself. I am going to appeal to your own personal tastes instead.

There once was a racist, prejudiced bigot who was filthy rich, but he didn't dislike anyone and shared all of his money but kept it to himself all at the same time. He believed in love at first sight but that all women were impossible, yet he knew in his heart he would meet the right one but actually felt like he didn't have to try to look for it while trying to look for it. He didn't want to be with a woman of any other race but Caucasian, but he wanted a girl who was Asian and submissive while actually being a man in disguise or "trap" for want of a better word. This transsexual had to be completely intolerant and also completely open minded at the same time, because our lead protagonist was both totally tolerant and liberal while being a conservative whacko at the same time.

They lived together, along with his 7 wives in a huge palace in the slums. Their government was right wing and racist while at the same time gave everyone what they deserved. Everyone had to pay their medical bills and the government did too, ultimately giving themselves back some money in the process. They practiced every religion you can think of (and some that you can't) while believing in none. The man was into voodoo too, so it didn't matter that he killed people because he brought them back to life anyway.

Their life was so perfectly boring and mundane that it was exciting. They made huge problems out of small things like dropping the remote on the ground and having to go through the massive hassle of having to pick it up, while making small problems out of big ones, like world starvation and poverty. Their government gave money to other countries and built hospitals, but kept them in debt for no reason and made their doctors work for free out of the goodness of their hearts, which they didn't do... they did it from guilt only but told everyone it was what they wanted and because it was the "cool student thing to do".

The guy thought it was great to be racist in secret while working with Africans, Polish people and other nationalities in his day job There was no way that he would ever admit it! And his wife looked like a girl but really had a penis. This excited him so much that he had to keep it secret because it was unnatural and wrong. Besides, because he read every religion book there was, he didn't have to justify the fact that he was into men or women, he was just right always. He didn't know that in his ideology it was possible to just like someone because he liked them and for no reason that needed any justification. Besides all this, he was in a perfect utopia, because he was neither racist nor homophobic either and he was rich and poor as well. It might also be fair to mention that he was hermaphrodite and asexual as well too, just for good measure.

He had a great sense of humour about all the wrong things too. It was OK to laugh at things because they made no sense but it was also important to laugh and gloat over people who clearly had less than him. He would sit around with all his shit friends and talk about things unimportant for days and days in his job that he hated. He worked testing beds and had to spend 8 hours per day sleeping. He also burned people alive too, but that was a nixer.

Anyway, to cut a long story short he died. And his world was sucked into a massive black hole.

The End.

Jayzus, it's so hard to write stories to appeal to everyone. It's just not possible I think.

The Template of Life

Just a quick note about Atheism

There seems to be a massive confusion over Atheism and Agnosticism and the whole concept of choosing one's religious interests and beliefs as far as i'm concerned.

I am Atheist, for all intents and purposes. Atheist in the knowledge available that we came about via unknown forces and through chance and that we are "lucky" to be here. Fact of the matter is, we are here and there is simply no other way existence could have been without us, otherwise it would be another universe entirely. Who knows, there may be other universes, but that is a moot point right now..

But what makes me Atheist is only that I do not believe without evidence or probabilities and I don't believe in the stories of Gods that have been put to me and it's fair to say, I have heard my share. If I chose to be Agnostic, I would not ever be sure of the existence of these Gods, but I am pretty sure they are not.. It's just too unbelievable and improbable with the evidence so far. The closest I have come to believe in a deity has been The Buddha, but in his own words he just discovered this Buddha nature and it can be found everywhere and in anyone. I like that idea. It's similar to "God" and how he can be found everywhere, though not a bearded man, literally. This was the origin of the Christian faith before it became a ghost/fairy story. It just meant that a good and peaceful nature was available for all who wanted to find it and that your conscience would always witness the good or bad you did. Daoism (Taoism) works a lot like this too. It says there is a "way" available for all who followed their natural path and let go of learned habits. The way would be shown to you through your real nature, once you stopped smothering it with necessities. The Dao is always here, you just have to tune in to it.

Fundamentally, this has linked all faiths the world over as I have put it. When you scratch away the surface, the clear picture can be seen.

Now it's fair to say that yes, I have certain beliefs in me, but these are purely related to nature, humanity and common sense. There is simply no room in my day for fairytales because it plasters over some very real ideas and some beautiful knowledge, not to mention the underlying awesomeness of our world in general. We have been led to believe that the world is a gift from the heavens, instead of something that is truly, in a natural sense, a miracle. Why does this have to be attributed to a person who Himself has no maker? We are not that special, we are just people wandering around a universal soup looking for answers and we may as well enjoy the fullness of this rather strange existence.

I am Atheist because the stories of Gods put to me make little practical sense. They are baseless and rather restricted. I don't have time to be unsure, in my 80 or so years as to whether I should be practising worship every day. I don't want, out of paranoia, to spend my time believing that someone "might" be listening in on my thought and watching my actions. I just got over Santa Clause, I don't need another invisible private investigator! And to be honest, though I generally don't get up to much activity and certainly not any that hurts another out of my own choice, I don't see why I should even consider doubt as a viable option whenever I feel like I want to do something in my life.

I, like you, will die eventually. And we are heading the exact same way whether you want to spend time believing or not.

I have enough things to think about and not much time to be uncertain in my life.

Uncertainty is not a good way for anyone to live. Decisions are what keep us living.

Anyway, was just a thought :-)