Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Kill Yourself... Or Die Trying

Tomorrow Belongs to Nobody

So I hear that there are billions of people saving up billions of Euro or whatever because they do not want the banks fucking them over again. Why? Why not just trust your better judgement, stop voting in arseholes and keep blowing your cash on frivolous bullshit. Problem solved. Of course, that cash never did belong to either you or they because it was never here in the first place. It was virtual wealth. So you see, you can never really be prepared for this kinda stuff. We're creatures of habit and greedy ones at that. Just admit it and you'll be half-way through the battle. Just keep splashing out on yourself and spare the excuses. And the arseholes? Well they'll keep spending your cash. Just watch out and stop being so naive. At least vote for someone who tries to hide the fact they are doing it.

And remember; You could be saving your money for years and years and yet you could die in an instant. Have you checked your health? Do you aimlessly walk in and out of traffic? Do you procrastinate about what you really want and think you'll always be around to get it? What's that, you do it for your kids... all right. If they are young, no problem. If they are over 18, get them to do it themselves. Time is not a commodity, it's a constant. You cannot give time to people. You cannot take it away.When you go asleep it's today. And when you wake up, it's today too.

All The Best Smokers

So I am thinking about world class athletes. You gotta practice long and hard to be a world class athlete. And there is no shortage of news updates on them, especially if you watch any of the Sky channels. There are benefits to being a world class athlete too, like you get to play your many games against formidable opponents and get paid way too much. So then I got to thinking about smoking. All the best smokers practice really hard and pay a lot to do it too. But there are not many of them around to compare yourself against. There are no champions because in order to be one you need a trophy, like maybe say, a trophy illness. If you are not getting satisfaction or rewards for doing it, then why bother at all?

Young Women Vs Older Women

Girls my own age are always pissed off when guys I know, or am around, fancy someone younger then they are. They say things like "you are intimidated by our intellect" or "you men are pervs" or something equally mind-numbing like that. I have never met a guy who didn't like a women because of her brain ever.  And why the hell do you care what we think of younger women anyway? Why not whinge to someone who cares, like older men, guys with patience? We obviously don't care a lot if our heads turn when someone hot walks by. We are antagonised because of our genes, something we cannot change. And then there are older women too. Guys are attracted to older women also for whatever reason. Freud had a few, but no one really cares these days. Maybe we're not attracted to women our own age because they antagonise us. And they antagonise us because we are not attracted to them. Vicious cycle perhaps.

Psycho Neighbours

Everyone has got a psycho neighbour. At least I think they do anyway. There's always a weirdo on the block. If you do not have a psycho neighbour, I think I may have yours here, where I live. She is seriously fucking weird and annoying. I am the most passive person in the world. I don't think shouting and arguing are worth the energy you put into them. But this one... I'm really tempted. Check this out for a list of mad stuff:

- calling a repair man around to fix our floor without asking us
- giving out about playing music at a reasonable hour
- giving out about parking my motorbike outside at 11am
- giving out about us walking on our floor
- coming up and ranting about making reasonable noises at reasonable hours
- placing bins in front of where I park my motorbike
- being a psycho weirdo
- giving out about sex noises

I'm sorry, yes, most of the above are tolerable. The last one and first one... and pretty much all of the rest are just insane. INSANE. The woman is a fruit-loop. Yeah, I know what I did there. But seriously, I know there's always one... This one is about two weirdos. She is actually a fission weirdo. She has split into two weirdos. There is a daytime and night time version. Our place costs €325 each per month. I now know why it was so cheap.

Artist, Athlete, Apathetic, Assiduous


So athletes. They are on TV kicking footballs, they are climbing hills. They are constantly pushing themselves. Lifting heavy things to get bigger. Running really fast. Jumping all over the place with balls. Rowing big boats in rivers. They never stop. I wish I could be an athlete. They do everything I am reluctant to do. Well, I'm working on it. I want to climb big hills and wear silly outfits while running. I don't want to die of heart disease. I am somewhere in between being an Athlete and an Artist


Writing loads of stuff down, that is the artist's way. They paint big pictures and draw stuff that moves and some stuff that doesn't. They basically put writing instruments onto paper. Then they write songs. They play music and they talk at great length. It sometimes rhymes and sometimes it doesn't. Artists are a sad bunch mostly. They write and paint and sing about things that they have done or things they should have. Generally, artists don't get paid a lot and people reckon they are bums. These people are usually Apathetic.


People who have jobs and don't like them are apathetic. They do not like sports enough to do anything but watch them. They languish on their couch at home or in the pub and watch them. They do not like their friends enough to hang out with them and they do not like people who don't have jobs to hate like they do. Apathetic people will generally stick by their guns and say you are wrong about your lifestyle because they will not take the initiative to change their own. Apathetic people do have interests however. They just think they will be around forever for some reason to eventually partake in them. Coronary heart disease and heart attacks await apathetic people because they are too lazy to work the cholesterol out of their arteries and too highly strung about everyone else to notice they are driving up their blood pressure. I used to be one of these people. I then became assiduous and tired of that soon after.


These people work hard and play hard. They are astute workers and get it done. They are passionate about their jobs, whatever they may be. The assiduous type will do their work or else stay there to get it finished. After they finish their work they consume. They consume so much. They consume products and they consume alcohol. They play hard because their hard work pays off. But they don't need thanks because they enjoy what they do or else they are just determined. The assiduous type is faultless to a large degree, but they should watch whether their efforts are appreciated or not.And I mean, whether they appreciate what they are doing or not too.

Fundamentalist Haircuts:

What is going on with these? OK, granted, this article will point out that it is only in fundamentalist Iran but this is symbolic of the extremes a right-wing government will go to control you. Recently, a couple of "raunchy"  ads like this one and this one were taken off air in Ireland because *SHOCK* *HORROR* it shows some good looking women in CLOTHES!! Granted, clothes that are pretty steaming hot, but when the fuck was it ever bad to be a female who makes consenting choices to be in such ads. These girls are obviously models and want this kind of work, so they got it. Men buy into sex... if it's an ad for Coke and it's got a hot chick in it, we buy it. If it's a hot lady in a video game ad, we buy it. Men in Calvin Klien boxers? Emmm, maybe a big seller to gay men, I don't know, but I'm sure straight men buy them too. And morality... well it's gone on it's head. Taking them off TV because it shows a few women who agree to the work in hot pants and belly tops. Fucking hilarious. You see worse (BETTER!!) walking down Grafton street on a hot day. I am moved to ask why there are Johnson & Johnson ads depicting naked toddlers in front of the masses, why there are shampoo and body lotion ads that show side-boob on before the water shed and why, WHY aren't they allowed to advertise crisps with a simple female form? Everyone knows that sex sells. Fucking women's lib, flannel shirt wearing activists know this is true, so why not just suck it up and admit it. Perving? Hardly. Being a straight male with hormones in the driver seat? Great market for selling stuff. Sales 101: Sell a man something with a woman in it or just get a woman to sell it to him. Much money will be earned. Right wing, conservative coffin dodgers are actually UNBELIEVABLE. And protective parents who don't want their kids to see a belly or a leg... tell me this... How was you child conceived? Did you have sex and then forget the whole thing? Was it in the dark? Did you have sex through a black sheet? Did you artificially inseminate? Have you ever looked into a mirror or looked down on yourself when you were naked? The good news = your type are a dying breed.

Can You Read My Mind?

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