Wednesday, February 10, 2010

I need to pace myself...

I was going to have a day off. I really was.

I had to get up early today and go to the Social Welfare office.

For all those that don't know what a welfare office is, because maybe you think that having a job makes you happier and better than everyone on the dole somehow and therefore makes all those without jobs instantly the scum of the earth (we all have a billion kids each, drive sports cars, wear expensive tracksuits and runners, are uneducated, drink 24/7, live with our partners who take every social welfare payment available as well as our own unmarried partner's allowance, pay €10 per week rent and live in palatial tenements)and that it's "demeaning" to queue for handouts because the government they voted for buggered the working class (a class which they also, happen to be a part of. Ironic and cruel) again, I hope I've explained it all in this, the largest sentence of the 21st century. Actually, looking back on that sentence it's rather disjointed and not very eloquent at all. But one thing I've learned while writing is to leave it alone for a while, take the flak and maybe learn something from it.

So anyway, I went to the Welfare office today. I really wasn't in the mood for queuing, I wasn't in the mood for walking to Pearse Street to collect my "Scab Money" (I'd like to see the guilty parties rename this when they have to accept it) and I wasn't in the mood for going to the Police Station to sort out my passport either. I also had to go to the bank to change my address and then request a statement via snail-mail so I could inconvenience myself further by changing my address with the Welfare Office again, only so they could cut my rent payment while I wait with the legions of unemployed people who patiently wait for our screw-up government to "fix" our country so I may have a dignified existence eventually. Now I mean dignified by my own standards, not by those of folks who study because they feel like they should, just to justify themselves somehow to people that don't give a shit. Yep, it was going to be a fun day today. If I was one for looking at the future, even the near future, I would have to say it was looking bleak. But I don't look to the future except when I'm forced to, either by a disgruntled girlfriend, or when I'm writing a rant that no one reads.

I really was going to have a day off.

What's that? I'm unemployed? I have every day off? Do you think it's easy to fill up your free time every day? You're lucky that you work. And I mean that only, in that you don't have to be creative in how you fill up your time! Someone has plans for you! Your need to fit in and "succeed" in life and your slavery to your own expectations and the expectations of others, coupled with that of the price you put on your time means you don't have to do anything! I try not to be bored! I actually had to work hard to strike off everything I was ever interested in (so far) just so I don't go crazy. I spend every minute torturing my brain with this rubbish. You get to sit in an office doing mind numbing work! You lucky thing you!

I honestly thought I would do nothing today.

But then I got a call from a person who likes to call me all the time for some reason I cannot yet fathom. Apparently, from pit of high-expectation I was crawling out of, I forgot to include this person once. I hear this quite a lot actually. I didn't do as I was expected to. As I was EXPECTED to. I DIDN'T DO AS I WAS EXPECTED TO. What the hell is wrong with that sentence, or is it just me? (For the pedantic linguists I have but two words for you at this point. FUCK OFF!) Ahem, now I shall continue. So, what is wrong with this sentence? Well I think it's terribly rude for someone to impose their expectations upon anyone, not just me! Apparently I am a bastard because I DIDN'T BEHAVE AS THEY EXPECTED ME TO. This grinds my gears so much I just don't even know where to start with it. But another day perhaps.

Anyway, after a visit to the Welfare Office, The Post Office (To pick up my shame money)and this unexpected and quite frankly UNWELCOME phone call, I had to go to the Police Station to face a Guard, Who, when I asked "Can you look after this for me" (in reference to my passport) quipped "I suppose so". A public servant ey? I'm lucky I'm unemployed and not paying this guy. I really wouldn't want to. But the female guard there was hot. I mean HOT. So I forgave him. But, trying to make conversation as the nice guy I am (Except when I'm not living up to the expectations of others) I said "Sorry, I would have brought it to Rathmines Police Station but I don't know where it is as I'm new to the area". His response was classic. He said "Well you could find it if you just asked someone". If I wasn't paying a cop's salary or ever wanted to, I'd certainly want to hire a writer for their wit. I kinda felt proud of my response to him though and lightning fast it was too. "Or if I ever got in trouble". It was such an open ended answer that could go either way, when you think about it. The girl who was standing beside me seemed to like it too as she snickered quite loudly. It's the closest you could get to smart mouthing a cop, but getting clean away with it. He had tried to be a sarcastic fecker with me and I one upped him without even trying really. The girl beside me was an unwitting accomplice. It was the perfect crime.

All I wanted was one uneventful day where something didn't happen and I didn't feel compelled to write something. All I wanted to do was lay back and be contented. Have someone do stuff for me. Have someone make my decisions. But alas, it was not to be.

Damn brain


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