Funny one this
I have been able to stand by and watch people I know (and people I don't) go through the steps of making the same mistakes over and over again. In fact, It's one of the reasons I have been able to write all this bullshit you see before you for almost a year now. Since the youngest memory I have, I have been watching how things were done by others and tried my best to avoid the worst outcome in a situation myself. It has been a mixed blessing though to be honest. Where one has failed at something, I have also failed at that thing in another way... but in other cases, I could only watch cynically as some events unfolded and then avoided the consequences by just not partaking or else just been aware the whole time. I'm not saying this is smart or anything. I mean if I were to call it something it's maybe "guarded" or "careful". I like to think that I am methodical in my approach to certain things and extremely careful. However, I have also been known to be tactless and a little gullible in other circumstances. But life being what it is, I have made efforts to learn, whether the approach was careful or trusting.
I am only human though and not even middle aged, so some things just end up baffling me on an ongoing basis as I don't have the knowledge to even recognise what is going on at all most of the time. But from this limited perspective, I will let you in on the few things that absolutely mess my brain up at times when trying to understand 'em. Am I alone? I don't fucking know. I do know that no man is an island though, so I could not be out here, drifting alone thinking all this shit by myself. Anyway, without any more scribe's wankings, here are some things that I find baffling:
Why do people still take copious amounts of weird drugs? I have in good authority, as do most of you, that various people have gotten fucked up on acid, many more end up with paranoia and a few schizophrenia from weed, people getting fucked-off on junk and a plethora of other side effects from other weird drugs... people robbing homes and innocent bystanders in order to feed their habits.
WHY DO PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER TRIED BEFORE STILL DO IT WITH SO MUCH EVIDENCE SHOWING THAT IT FUCKS YOU UP?
Well it's fair to say teenagers are thick. But we all need a platform to learn from. OK, that is cool and I understand and reason that myself. SO why do those who know Heroin is addictive and Cocaine is addictive still continue to take loads, oblivious to it's knock-on effects? Come on! They are not new drugs! We know what happens with over indulgence! Are we learning yet? Are we seriously so ignorant?
I thought I would expand onto alcohol and aerosols, not to mention steroids and cigarettes. Why do people still think this isn't bad for you? Cigarettes cause cancer - fact. Alcohol can lead to depression or anger issues... actually it can lead to lots of stuff that is unpleasant. Steroids are not good for you in the long term. Aerosols can kill instantly... yet people are still doing this stuff, thinking they will be grand. honestly, it is either completely dumb or ignorant. Hell, I am guilty of it myself. But what the shit... Why do we do it?
My pet peeve since primary school. Physical, emotional, psychological, domineering and peer pressure bullying to name but a few. Honestly, some people don't know they are doing it and I feel for 'em. Because sometimes I come out of a situation and think "wow, I was a bit tough there!" But folks who know they are doing it? I mean constantly? Hitting people, mocking them, thinking they are superior and actually expressing it in person? For fuck's sake, where is your compassion? Teachers, girlfriends, drinking buddies, colleagues, friends... we all do it on some level. Some of us just try to chance our arm, see what we can get away with and then stop when we know enough is enough.... but some people, I swear... I have no time for them at all. I have actually blanked some people on the long-term because I feel they are incapable of learning that they are doing something wrong. OK, some folks are brought up that way... their parents are bullies, maybe even some of their friends. DO YOU NOT HAVE A MIND OF YOUR OWN? DO YOU HAVE ANY COMPASSION YOURSELF, NO? They make people who are different to them feel sub-human. Honestly, if you are going around lacking compassion for your fellow man I have news for you... YOU ARE YOURSELF SUB-HUMAN. Compassion is a basic human trait. If you lack it, I'm afraid you don't make the grade.
Oh, the irony!
There are guys out there who want to plant their seed and go. They think a quick fuck is the future and feel dominance for the fact that a woman gets nothing from the sexual encounter. Lads, you need to learn that the world is populated by two sexes. And in fact, if you appreciate sex at all, you wll at least show decency and return the "favour". You will find that the feeling of good sex gets multiplied 100% by actually trying to please your partner.
The other thing that baffles me is how feminists think that both the sexes are somehow identical, Like as if men and women were the "same" as if we feel the same feelings, react the same way to situations. We are not. I have ranted this before to a large degree. I have tried, sweated, worried that maybe I was a complete freak of nature, only to find out that there is an overestimation on either side as to how the other actually responds to any situation. I have tried my best to understand women on all levels. Yet if we were the "same"" I would not have to waste a minute. It's complicated, it really is. Now I understand that there is difference that cannot be obsessed over and that the way forward is acceptance, rather than calculated diversity. However, we are built differently, function differently and apart from staple stuff like eating, sex and disposing of waste, we actually require different stuff mentally, emotionally and if you are a female battling a biological clock, physically. Why do some people refuse to acknowledge this?
Why do we expect so much past the common person's word? I mean the word that we give each other as to what intentions we have to meet the basic necessities of a relationship both friendly and personal? Why these dreamed up, ideal scenarios? Why do we compete others against our friends without their knowledge? You know, what if I cooked up an ideal scenario involving someone that had no idea I was doing it? I understand that if a promise is made it must be met with all the power you have at your disposal. In fact I learned this one the hard way and am no saint. I fuck up quite regularly. But I am learning. And I have no doubt you do too. But what of those who don't? you know those who just keep raising your expectations? Why do some people continue to make and have expectations about those who clearly don't give a shit? Hell, even those that do are entitled to change their minds any time, right? Or are you supreme dictator of situations??
None of us have the right to raise our expectations of another, just as we have no right to break promises ourselves. This might seem a conundrum but there is a grey line... the one where we go ahead dreaming up a situation on expectation and not from plan but on the premise that we become dependent on another. This is something I am watching and still trying to understand. I can only assume one shouldn't think they know someone fully ever, because I myself find that I am let down often. Is it my expectations, or is it that other feel they no longer feel they have an obligation? But then why say you will when you won't do it? There is such thing as human error, that is allowed. Those who don't learn... what is going on, ey?
The thing is this, so long as we don't have this unrealistic expectation of one another then everything is pretty good. I guess in some way, shape or form the truth becomes harder for some people to tell as time goes by. But why? It seems like a basic right for anyone. If you used it a little, you wouldn't have to let people down, therefore destroying the false image that you were ever really reliable. Why bother to create the image for another anyway if it was false to begin with?