Ok, yeah this subject again
Well I am pushing thirty and there is no question that whatever females I happen to be closely surrounded by are either going to be badgering me, or fellas I know to start filling 'em with baby ingredients.
Oh come on! that is not offensive! Bottom line is, it's the truth... the horrible sticky foul smelling truth.
Our ancestors began as primordial goo and our friends, parents, siblings, peers and idols all came from the same stuff. It's just goo. No need to be afraid!
Now deal with it.
So yeah, I love sex. Just as much as any other guy. I like to think that it's something fun to do, to pass the long hours of the day or night. Years ago, I thought that it was just guys who were horny as fuck and that we would be lucky to find a female who would match our libido. I was wrong. Sometimes it's really really good to be wrong, especially about the right kinda things. Men are driven by instinct mostly. Eating, sex and competition are all pick of the day. Plus many of us like to spread our love around, because we are so competitive that we want to propagate as much as possible, our delicious genes.
Fortunately, our female counterparts like us to want to do that, but not with many females, just with them... which is fair enough I suppose. I always admired the phrase "to be a great liar you must also have a great memory". Lying and therefore, sleeping around is just too much Goddamn effort if you have even a slight speck of loyalty. Anyway, before I head off on another tangent and to cut a long story short, females like sex as much, if not more than us guys... because that's how humanity has survived for so long blah blah blah. So now that the obvious is out of the way, I will get down to what I actually wanted to talk about.
Just this next decade of broody madness I'm likely to face.
First of all I just want to ask... is there anyone else out there who maybe feels that we're overlooking something here? I mean I can understand why people want families, after all I am human too. But when I look around at the sheer numbers of newborns coming into the world every day I wonder.
I remember a good friend showed me a site where you could check all of the worlds statistics in real-time. You could see how many people up to the minute, but in the last 24 hours, had died. You could see how many were born and you could see all sorts of other stuff on it too. The same friend waved a good point in my direction when I was in my bitter nihilistic stage that it was good to bring new kids into the world to teach them how to be good people to counteract the bad. This has stayed with me and I agree with him 100% now. But see I also know that a glass is never just half-full... it also must be half-empty too. Optimism is good... I am optimistic enough. But only about real things. more of a realist really. it's kind of a curse at the best of times, because when presented with such ideas like childbirth and especially as an "accident", how the person must adapt to it or the child suffers. Sometimes this child is left without parents because the parents cannot cope. In fact there is a multitude of reasons a kid might end up orphaned so i always asked myself: "why create a new child when there are so many out there already without families?"
I guess one answer is that people know themselves so well, their families and extended families, that they know how their genes are likely to behave. They don't want to take a chance on a strange baby because it might exhibit symptoms or characteristics that they are not in control of or aware of fully. There is the responsibility of creating a child, but not of monitoring that which you cannot predict, like was the father a rapist or psychopath? Was the mother a junkie? you already know. Your responsibility is diminished slightly without you even knowing about it. Because evolution rules that only the strongest genes survive. You know that this theory could easily splinter from basic evolution. Well it's just a thought. But a compelling one, I find. My life is full of compelling thoughts as you may have noticed. Well compelling for me, at least. That is not to say that I assume they overpower you! But imagine this: an orphan may have a negative idea of the world when it's primary adolescent/adult thought is "I was abandoned by my own family once". OK, I'm not saying 100% of orphaned/adopted kids feel this, but there is a chance. A high chance. Make a new kid to counteract all the negative parent-less kids eh? I dunno, just a thought, albeit a dangerously satirical one.
Anyway, there are more like this. I know the Matt extended family gene pool is not going thin any time soon, so it reduces the need. However, there is still sex and sex is enjoyable. But I also realise that the type of woman interested in me is interested in my genes, above all. So that could be a thought unwelcome in my head as things are "happening". It ain't all in the motion or ability lads, it's the person involved!
There are louts in society. That is to say, there are victims of certain circumstances in society. I don't know how everyone can overlook such a lack of virtue in the modern age. Such lack of responsibility. Lack of basic human rights. Why bring a child into a world that doesn't take care of their kin? That doesn't take care of each other? I find it hard to accept creating a family unless I "get past" certain things:
* The world is crazy. Until it feels comfortable crazy and not harrowing crazy, I am not comfortable creating a being who gets no say in the matter
* Why choose a fresh life over a life that had no choice but is suffering as a result?
* Why throw basic virtues aside just to propagate my own selfish ends? Social responsibility anyone?
* Basically, I cannot look after myself at all, let alone a mini-me. So that's that idea out the window.
Unfortunately, the downsides to holding onto principles is that often you end up doing it all by yourself. And it's not like I blame anyone else or even want to to be honest. A great man once told me that pride and fear are mankind's two biggest obstacles in life. I agree. Often I ask myself if one of these two are in fact the father of my ideas of creation. I have also been asked, is it a product of something that happened when I was growing up. In simple terms, I love my family. I respect and understand them completely, no questions asked. I have observed hardships and happiness in equal measure. I would take it 1000 times more without hesitation. There is no fear and definitely no pride to be observed either. So that idea is out the window. I have nothing to be proud of per se, except the basic ideas I live by. Maybe pride is my obstacle. Perhaps my ideas are too ideal. I dunno.
Until I feel socially responsible enough not to the height of my expectation, but to the same merits that my being truly believes, then I may be ready one day. I may flout some beliefs slightly if there is one that would accommodate me. But I will not bring in another player to the game so long as I feel the rules are not being followed.
Anyway, that being said, It's just another thought process, not a conclusion.
so here's a Nice song :) to play us out!