Thursday, December 16, 2010

Theory of Love II

You cannot have love without having strength

Similarly, you cannot have strength without love

It's true, it's true, it's true. And I will contest it right here

Some people seem to be under the illusion that love contains some sort of submission or compromise.

I call bullshit. Nobody in a loving relationship should submit or compromise at all.

Think about what compromise means. I'll give you the dictionary term: a settlement of differences 
by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by 
adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc 
by reciprocal modification of demands.

It sounds to me like both parties have to "give up" or agree to "quit one each" on what they enjoy out of life. Why would you love anybody who makes you quit what you want to do? Why would you expect someone to stop doing something they want for you? Love is not selfish. If you want to be loved, don't be selfish or it'll turn bad in some way shape or form. Love accepts all, it does not "compromise". That just sounds like "better you than nothing at all". Fuck my high expectations, hey?

And submission... Why would you expect someone who you submit to to love you? And why would you expect someone who submits to you to love you? The first one is insecurity. How can you confidently love someone if you yourself are insecure enough to suppress a person? It's like the guy who loses an argument so he punches you. Gotta win somehow! And why should someone who submits to your whims  love you either? That is just dependence or fear of being alone. If you get joy out of bossing someone around and they leave you, don't be surprised. And if you aren't confident in yourself, you will never love someone. No person is the slave of another, or lesser for any reason. "Slave" might be a rough term, but it is true. You submit, you serve. No one appreciates a skivvy. That is why the slave thinks they are a slave, because they will earn love, freedom or reward. But they never do, do they? That is why they stay a slave. They are never loved so they want to keep serving. They are never rewarded with freedom. If you think you are in a loving relationship and you in fact know you are submissive, then it is not love because it is not mutual respect and control. It is one sided. Love is not one-sided.

So, why do I write this? Well to be honest, it's taken me 14 or 15 years and some failed or bad relationships to understand what love is. I don't write it from any position or with ire in my heart. What would be the point? Some people feel that love is some kind of emotion but that is not true. Love just is. It is some kind of binding force. It has many emotions tied into it. It's not one like "loss" or "hurt" or "dependence" or "fear of isolation" (gotta love someone or you'll be alone!). In fact you can love anyone or anything, any time, once you let go of the ideas you have. Love is really simple like that.

If you are truly "In love" you will in fact encourage others to be strong, confident, sure of goals, truthful, direct, honest, forthright, etc etc. You can love anyone who is virtuous. You might cling onto someone "nice" because you believe if they exhibit true strength, they will be loveable. But you know, deep in your soul if they don't, the game is up. Some people put up with a deck that is less than full and therefore drain all the strength from their loving relationship. Sometimes you gotta be strong even when you know it's a lost cause. You can love someone by leaving them. It's true.

So what is Love? Hell, I dunno. If I did, I would not be human. I share the common downfall of all skinbags. I don't know what it is, but I know what it isn't.

Love won't drive you to tears
Love won't keep you living in fear
Love is not doubt, or lack of devotion
It's full of understanding, It's vast
Love is an ocean

Love is free and not cruel
Love lets both the head and heart rule
Love is mutual strength and power
It stands tall and strong 
Understands and does not devour

Yeah I made it up, big fucking deal.

Listen: You gotta be strong to love somebody. If that lucky somebody is receiving your love properly, they will gain strength from it. You cannot push someone who is full of love around. They won't take it. If they don't get it from you, I mean real love, then they will go.

And you should let them.

PS: I don't do drugs :P

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