Friday, March 19, 2010

Shit Friday

So I walked into a shop this evening on my way back from the class and it got me to thinking... as everything in the whole world does when I cannot figure out why. I had just made it through their sliding doors and did a man-jog across the floor with seconds to spare, grabbing me 1 good 'ol bottle of white wine @ 5.99 per bottle. The rigid, but fat security guard had been too slow to shut down the off license... he was currently and reluctantly dragging the fence up toward me in order to barricade up that area so willing participants in consuming alcoholic beverages would no longer be able to buy their preferred intoxicating liquor after the curfew of 10 o'clock. I was just congratulating myself on a job well done and then it hit me...

I saw Easter Eggs. They were on sale and it was after 10 o'clock in the evening. Now I know, to some of you, that seems to be okay, but to me it was a bit unbearable. I could buy Easter eggs but I could not buy alcohol after 10. It was so unfair! I was allowed to get as fat as I like after 10 o'clock. I am a normal guy with no social or mental issues and I'm a paying customer. I could get as much chocolate as I wanted but no alcohol!

Apparently our government thought up this master plan all by themselves. "No Irish citizen, because of a few lousy idiots, can purchase alcohol after 10 o'clock, but they can buy as much Easter Eggs as they want because we're celebrating our lord's death". OUR lord's death. "Our" lord's death. So, by this rationale, we are allowed to buy Easter Eggs since Christmas (I heard from one friend that a shop started moving them in on Stephen's day... Whoever HE is)but we cannot buy alcohol because of a few lousy anti-social behaving louts. So, we are flooded with fatty food way too early for the celebration of this guy's death who a few old people follow, but we are not allowed to buy drink after a certain hour, something that nearly ALL adults are into because of a few fools. I was here, just in the nick of time buying wine in order to "enjoy responsibly" (like I need to be told THAT) with all this other crap being shoved in my face.

Look, you might think I'm going overboard here, so I'll break it down for you.

There are more people who want alcohol than people who want Easter eggs. There are only a few louts and fools who stop us getting booze all the time so they outlaw it past a certain time, but there are only a few people who follow the fairy tale and we're ALL subjected to it 24/7. Some of you would say "but you can buy booze earlier" or "Ah, leave Easter eggs alone".

It's a gimmick. There is enough chocolate in a dairy milk as there is in a whole egg and it costs 4 times more. Alcohol does exactly what it says on the tin and you get what you pay for.

There's another thing that bothers me too. Because of this widely accepted fairy tale, we are all subjected to a day of Alcoholic Abstinence on "Good" Friday. If you ask me, the last time that Friday was any good was before the Christians got hold of it.Now it should be called Shit Friday. I have to buy my booze the night before and I can't go out and dance if I want to. What a crock. Instead we get Paddy's day to get 2 times more tanked up than usual to make up for it. We are so bleedin' lucky.

But don't get me started on Paddy's day. It's only good if you are foreign or not in Ireland at the time. I just don't buy it otherwise.

See, the whole system of banning drink after a certain time is as flawed as the government who introduced it. If louts and alcoholics want their booze in high quantity, shutting the off license half and hour earlier makes absolutely no difference. Said alcoholics and louts will just stock up early and be equally, if not more, troublesome. It's the guys like me who think "Ah feck it, will I have a drink tonight?" that get fucked over by them. The only way they make it difficult is for normal people and their own revenue income. It's another stupid policy, like that of the "Blasphemy Law" by a rubbish right-wing government who don't know what to be doing. What a big pile of steaming shit

EDIT: It has come to my attention only this morning, that apparently pubs will open on good Friday. Now that is divine

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