Sorry

"Sorry seems to be the hardest word". That was the name of a terrible song with a guy wailing in it in the background. As far as I know, a should-be-bald-ages-ago-Elton-John helped out if I'm not mistaken. I've never listened to the song, but if the guys who wrote it are on the money, the name of their song encompasses the idea that all of us, at some time or another, have had difficulty with that particular word and the use of it in reference to something we probably shouldn't have done to or with somebody. It is an answer always given off reluctantly and it is a word that females, the world over, love a little bit too much. Men, by act of nature but purely to the ire of females seem to commit acts that require the use of this word minute by minute it seems. Perhaps it was a word used to absolve bad feeling for just one sex, who knows?

I for one have no use for it in my general day-to-day life. About the only time I have ever really needed to use it - and use it sincerely - is when I'm trying to close the gap between someone and where I'm actually going. Should I bump them or should they not be aware of my trying to get by them, a simple "sorry" usually suffices. So sorry as a word, is virtually useless for me, personally. Some people can't get enough of it though, it seems. I once went out with a girl who needed to hear it as much as she needed to hear "I love you" which was quite frequently... suffice to say, I am not within her company any more. She wanted to hear it when I wanted my own space or when I didn't act according to the grand plan in her mind or something. So much lost to an idea. It's kinda sad.

Words like "I love you" and "Sorry" are squandered as much as "Girlfriend" and "Boyfriend" these days. There seems to be a serious lack of action and movement up until the point where you have to use them sincerely, apparently. They are thrown around as if there were no weight and meaning behind the concepts at all. If I am to say "I love you" to somebody, I am assuring them that I accept everything, good and bad about that person and that they may continue to exhibit their behaviour and habits without fault around me. There are few people I can sincerely say "I love you" to. I just cannot bring myself to say it to someone whom I don't actually love. I can say, "You're awesome" or "I think you are brilliant" or something but love is too heavy. That doesn't mean I don't respect the person or understand them any less, but as far as I'm concerned, love is too delicate to just throw around, especially to those who irritate you inadvertently.

"Sorry" seems to be like this too. Just this morning, I read that some bishop in the middle of the industrial school child sex scandal involving our good friends, The Catholic Church was "sorry" that he didn't report and abusive priest to the authorities. Apparently the Pope is "sorry" for the hurt felt by all these poor youngsters put into their care. Germany was "sorry" for the murder of 6 million Jews. I bet Pol Pot was "sorry" for the murders of 1 million of his own people too. The funny thing is, these people are only sorry when they are caught. They only squeeze out this one word excuse for their heinous crimes once they are discovered to be committing them. The word is either very very difficult to say; "Sorry I'm torturing you, but there's a gun to my head" or worryingly easy "Sorry for killing your family. I know there's a judge up there and about a thousand cops keeping me here, but I just wanted to let you know that". I think it doesn't have a proper meaning, or perhaps people are just fooled by it, one way or another.

Now that is not to say I wouldn't accept an apology by someone who truly meant it. I would have to weigh up my own perception of their character and how the act would seem in the grand scheme of things. But in general I prefer to be as far away from the use of it as possible. It's also possible that I steer clear of it because of the over-abuse of it by that girl whom I used to see a lot but that's only a theory. In the instance of someone using it for my personal benefit, my answer to it is usually something like this... and I recommend that anyone I know remember this for both my sake and their poor damaged ego: I don't want sorry, I don't need sorry. Just don't do whatever it is that makes you want to say so for whatever reason to me again. Generally people forget that it's actually quite difficult to do wrong by someone they care about, by someone they respect and understand unless they are being selfish, short-sighted or unjust. So why bother with sorry at all? And why bother with sorry unless you are truly sincere?

And why continue to seek the "good word" and baptise your kids with an organisation who abuses them and doesn't respect you enough to be virtuous?