Whole-wheat full fibre bread, Marmite and toast breakfast - check
Yoga class, 1st time attendance - check
Cold Shower and Shave with worn razor blade - check
Wash clothes - check
Take out bin bags - check
Load Final Fantasy into PS3 - check
Realise my limbs are tired - check
750 words (at least) written - work in progress
So who said being unemployed was boring? Not I. I have been hearing complaints left, right and centre recently about people who are struggling to come to terms with unemployment. I just don't understand this.
OK, so I understand that people with mortgages and kids and cars and stuff are struggling with their payments as a result of job loss and high interest rates, blah blah blah, but still, having said that, did you not decide to take all these risks yourself?
I mean it's OK to want all that stuff as far as I'm concerned, It's perfectly normal and I too might want to do it some day, but if I do, I'll want to be perfectly comfortable in where I am and what I'm doing in life before undertaking commitments like kids and mortgages and so on. You have to know that you are in a stable foothold before taking on what just feels right at the time. I wonder why people rush into this property ladder madness when they are doing jobs that any person can do. I just personally believe it's not worth undertaking massive responsibilities like this when you are replaceable and unimportant as far as a company is concerned. If your spouse or partner is making you rush into it, they may not be the one you want. If they were on steadier footing like you, they might understand and leave all that house buying and stuff until you are sure it's worth taking the risk.
I found out today that I'm lazy at breathing. As I was doing certain Yoga exercises, I had to breathe deep and exhale. I found a new depth to my lungs that I never knew was there. My legs shook like fuck when I tried to stretch them. More muscles I never knew existed. It felt awesome. I am now in pain, recovering until my next class. I won't say I'm "looking forward" to it, as I'm pretty useless at projecting myself even 1 day ahead. And I pretty much find pre-judging things as useless. If I'd listened to that silent voice in my head today, I probably never would have went. I would have predicted and felt embarrassment before I left the house. I can't imagine now having not done it.
I also discovered through an instantaneous thought, that people have become lazy breeders. Instead of exercising their ability to find someone that's on the same page as they are, they just settle for whatever is close by and convenient. They put up with grief off of each other as a result. I know few stories of people really searching for someone who can wait like they and not pressure their partner into doing things, buying things going places like they want. Friction-friction-friction. Women, in my experience (IN MY EXPERIENCE) are such projectors. They want you to see into the future. For peace of mind or whatever. I don't think this is an impasse more-so something that can be achieved through honesty. A guy will say to a girl that he'll marry her in future if she's right. Anything else is friction! Lazy breeding usually leads to troubled marriage and kids that are haywire or out of control in some way, shape or form. Their parents both give off different signals and it's very confusing indeed. Just a hunch folks, just a hunch. It's an evolutionary nightmare. Survival of the lazy and to some extent, survival of the dumbest. There's plenty of evidence around. just look about at those annoying trouble makers all over the place. Then look at their parents.
So how did this relationship of convenience start? Hanging out at the same bars? Lack of confidence? Soft-heartedness? Fear of loneliness? Did you want your kids or did they just happen by accident? Are you tying up "loose ends" so your kids will have a father by settling for a twerp? Did you see a beautiful girl in your class and settle for her ugly mate because she was less intimidating? We're you blind drunk, had sex and then felt guilty then "stuck around" so as not to feel bad afterwards? Bet it feel worse to stick by something you don't want. Feel that alarm bell clanging inside.
I bet Buzz Aldrin isn't proud to be second man on the moon. Is the silver as good as the gold? Is second place in the "Premier" league as good as winning? How about being counted out in a boxing/wrestling match? Bet those guys feel amazing too!
You know, I wasn't gonna go to class this morning. seemed like a whole lot of effort. Now my limbs hurt and I feel kinda good. I don't know why, I just can't explain it. It didn't take motivation, just a bit of determination and some concentration too. This thing pretty much wrote itself though. That's how I like to feel. How about you?
Feels good man