Bad Karma

If there be gods, they are laughing at me.

In the likelihood there aren't, then all is well.

I am listening to Shane McGowan singing Spancil Hill. Though the guy is falling apart at the seams, there is just something so right about listening to him. In fact, as I listen to it I can picture no one else do more justice to the song.

But this is not why the No Gods are laughing at me. They are laughing because right now my concentration has been taken from me. Shane McGowan's voice is soothing at the moment and my impending shower does little to offer comfort in the fact that my foot is throbbing like mad.

Last night I stepped flush on a wine glass in my bare feet. It stung like a bitch and the only small blessings offered in the whole predicament were the fact that 1. No glass actually stayed inside the gash 2. the carpet's got a nice crimson look about it in patches and 3. anyone who could consider themselves my sworn enemies can gain a little comfort in my loss of blood and discomfort.

Perhaps it was karma. Perhaps I am being paid for some bad I may have done someone in a far away galaxy. Perhaps it was the universe's way of balancing out. Maybe someone somewhere got buggered or something and never brought the perpetrator to justice and I somewhere made someone feel terrible and am now getting paid in kind to keep everything balanced.

Or maybe I wasn't concentrating, stumbled and put my foot wrong. But fuck is it uncomfortable. A big, 1 inch gash now rests between my heal and my instep. It makes uncomfortable the slightest distance. Not sore but uncomfortable, ya know?

And let's see, what else could top this unfortunate event? Well, this morning I had to walk from Rathmines to Camden street, all the way back to the top of Rathmines again. I had to walk in discomfort, very very slowly. It was not a nice experience. Maybe, just maybe I deserved it. If there were Christian alien gods, Islamic Gods and all the rest of them , they were surely having thier revenge for my non-belief. If I had enemies who just couldn't find a way to trump me, they were surely to laugh at my admission of this silly event and say stuff like "it serves you right" and "hope it stings ya bastard" and so on. Oh if only I'd known that they were all conspiring against me!

For this event, I will now renounce all free will. I will renounce all sex before marriage and bad language. I will now let those who wish to do so walk all over me, because I got what I deserved. I will now blindly follow any and every doctrine imaginable. I wouldn't want to step on a glass an suffer minor inconvenience because I have upset the balance. Hell, I'll go all out and say that I personally have all the terrible luck in the world! Even more-so than all those who were decapitated for occupying Iraq and Afghanistan, all those who were bombed because Bush was told by God. I am more unfortunate than the 6 million+ Jews massacred during World War II and every person who suffered or died as a result of the crusades. I may just as well face another life cycle and repeat the process all over again as an earth worm because my karma is so terrible. I may even consult an astrologer to see if it might happen again should I decide to stay a heathen. But I might be burned as a witch like all the poor souls at Salem.

Maybe my "enemies" are thinking I got what I deserved. Perhaps I was so distracted by my future arguments with them that didn't happen, but was planning in my head to. My judgement lapsed for a moment and I forgot where I was, stumbled and glassed my foot. Yeah, that's likely! I spend all my evenings plotting revenge and holding strong to my convictions if they dared to draw fire on me.

Or perhaps next time I will just take care to stand up properly and maybe put my glass where I am less likely to injure myself with it. I will be aware of the dangers of leaving things in hazardous places and practice safety in the home.

There are stranger facts out there than any fiction I could possibly dream up anyway.